The Great Rescue in Relationships

by Teal Swan –
Inside all of us, is a little bit o’ rescuer!

It is a common pattern for some of us in relationships to be rescuers. It is as if we are on the look out for someone who we can save or rehabilitate. A rescuer often feels a duty or obligation to maintain a relationship as it is even when we are feeling used. A rescuer often makes excuses for someone else’s behavior even when it is self destructive or harmful to us. 
The rescuer, like everyone else, has needs. 
But rescuers don’t feel worthy enough to ask for what they want. Instead, they convince themselves that if they give enough to others the recipient of their giving will clearly appreciate the rescuer so much that the taker will begin to give back to the rescuer, which is what the rescuer secretly wants all along. They want to be loved, nurtured and cared for. 
That is the hope and fantasy of the rescuer. But, because the rescuer has chosen someone who needs rescuing, someone who by definition takes and does not give, the rescuer never gets what he or she really wants, which is to be rescued. There is no such thing as a rescuer that doesn’t want to be rescued.
If we are a classic rescuer, we need to learn to expose our needs and wants to others in a straightforward way. 
As rescuers, we have a difficult time receiving and so it benefits us to examine the resistance we have to receiving and asserting our needs and wants. We can then begin to learn how to receive. Now if you are thinking, “Thank God that isn’t me, I’m definitely not a rescuer”, think again. I’m going to take you a little deeper and show you how most people are rescuers and they don’t even know it.
Attraction is simple. 
It is either there or it is not there and yet it is a much more complicated thing than you have been led to believe. Many things that draw us to a specific person are savory and many are unsavory. But it is to be understood that when we are searching for a mate, we are looking for a match, an equal. We are in fact looking for ourselves in another.
In the big picture, opposites do not actually attract. One could say that the fact that males attract females is evidence that opposites attract. But the male and the female are both human. Humans attract humans, so same attracts same. In many ways it could be argued that duality and non-duality is just a matter of perspective. 
However, as it applies to humans, the way people usually deal with pain is to swing to one extreme style of coping or the other. But the baseline vibration beneath the surface expression is exactly the same.
For example, take two people, both of which have social anxiety. They both want to hide. One hides by becoming a wallflower; the other hides by creating a persona and becoming the class clown. If they fell in love with each other, we could say “opposites attract” but it wouldn’t be accurate because if we look deeper, the vibration inspiring their personalities is exactly the same. It is social anxiety.
Most of the process of attraction is happening on a subconscious level. 
We are looking for the person who mirrors us the very best. This is the way that the universe or collective consciousness ensures the most expansion. Self-actualization is facilitated by our relationships. 
Because of the law of attraction, the universe draws us to the person who mirrors us the best. It feels great when our partner mirrors good feeling things within us, like our caring or our depth or our intellect. But that is not the only vibration that is resident within us. We also have bad feeling things within us as well, like our inability to receive or our self-centeredness or our closed mindedness.
I have yet to meet a person who has not experienced some kind of trauma in their lifetime. 
Even if parents were capable of providing a perfectly loving experience for their children, the very experience of being born into a self that is separate from the whole is traumatizing. So, we have all experienced varying degrees of good feeling things and varying degrees of traumatizing things. These traumatizing experiences cause wounds in us emotionally and mentally and even physically. And sometimes these wounds go unhealed. 
Your number one desire (whether you are conscious of it or not) is to become fully healed. Rather than healed, lets say whole and fully integrated. 
If you are not conscious and aware of these wounds because they happened so long ago, you attract partners who make you aware of those wounds because they mirror them. And by mirroring them, they exacerbate them.
In other words, the people we are inexplicably drawn to have the same wound that we do. And because they have the same wound that we do, it causes a flare up in the wound we both share.
Here’s where the rescuer dynamic comes in. 
On a subconscious level, you have always wanted to heal your wound. But you are unconscious of that wound. And so the only way to see it is to step in front of a mirror. The mirror is your partner. And when you step in front of your partner and recognize the wound, you then start to try to heal the wound in the reflection. 
Thinking subconsciously, “If I can just heal that wound in this other person, I’ll have healed it in myself.” You are insatiably attracted to people who provide you with the opportunity to become aware of and heal that wound, thus becoming a rescuer to that hurt aspect of them and you.
Those of you who have recognized painful patterns in your relationships would benefit by becoming especially aware of this dynamic. 
Chronic painful patterns in relationships suggest that a deep unhealed wound is resident that you keep trying to unconsciously remedy through your relationships. You are trying to love yourself through them.
Take a very objective look at the patterns inherent in what you are attracted to about the people you have been in a relationship with or are in a relationship with. What are you drawn to again and again? Rather than get lost in how any of them were different, begin to look for what they had in common with each other. 
Then ask yourself, “What am I drawn to that keeps causing me problems?”
For example, a woman might have dated a great many men, all of whom were very different at face value. But when she asks herself “What am I drawn to that is common among all of the men I’ve been with?” she might realize that she is attracted to athletes who are loners. She notices that is insatiably attracted to outcasts who are lost with nowhere to belong.
She recognizes that the fact that they are athletes does not cause her pain. But the thing that she is attracted to that is causing her problems is that they are loners. The reason it is causing her pain is because she has found out the hard way that loners are often loners for a reason. They keep people at arms length and are emotionally unavailable. As a result, they make her lonely.
You see, the reality (if this woman was to look deep enough) is that she, herself is lonely. 
Her wound is that she feels like a loner who is lost with nowhere to belong. She is attracting men with her exact same wound. She is subconsciously convinced that if she can get a loner who is lost and doesn’t belong to feel lovingly connected to her and feel like they belong with her, she has solved her own loneliness problem. 
When this woman thinks about the prospect of being with a man who is not lonely and who is not lost and who feels as if he belongs in the life he is living, she feels as if there will be no space for her in his life. She fears that he will only make her feel like she does not fit in and thus feel lonelier and more outcast than she already does. This woman is trying to rescue herself through the men she is with. She is trying to rescue and heal the parts of herself that need healing through him.
We look for others who have the same wound that we have so that we can heal our own wound externally. We are rescuers. But we are trying to vicariously rescue ourselves.
Here’s another example, a man might discover that all the women in his past, though different in many ways, were all very beautiful and were unstable and dark and negative. Also, every one of them wanted desperately to be famous. Which means that they all lacked a sense of significance. He is not caused pain by the fact that they are beautiful. 
The problems arise for him as a result of the fact that they are unstable, dark, negative and attention seeking. The reason it keeps causing him pain is that these common personality traits in the women he has been with always end up making him feel emotionally unstable, hopeless and like he is sinking into a dark space.
You see, the reality (if this man was to look deep enough) is that he, himself is emotionally unstable, dark, negative and lacks a sense of significance. That is his wound. He is attracting women with his exact same wound. He is subconsciously convinced that if he can get an unstable, dark, negative woman who lacks a sense of significance to feel stable, light, happy and self confident, he has healed his own problem. 
When this man thinks about the prospect of being with a woman who is stable, light, happy and self confident, he feels a sense of panic. He feels as if he will be exposed and cannot hide his dysfunction. He also feels like he is ultimately not good enough for her. This man is trying to rescue himself through the women he is with. 
He is trying to rescue and heal the parts of himself that need healing through her.
If your relationships are chronically painful, chances are that what you have in common with your significant other is your wounds. You are trying to save yourselves through each other. And as the other person exacerbates your wounds, you will beg them to solve the problem and make you feel better. But the pain just gets worse. 
The more time you are with them, the bigger the mirror becomes.
I will give you a hint that the thing we most often try to rescue in others is the very deepest pain within ourselves. 
I made a YouTube video a while back called “Find your Negative Imprint, Find your Life Purpose”. We usually try to rescue ourselves by finding people who mirror our negative imprint. So watch that video to get deeper awareness of what you might be trying to rescue in yourself through others.
Once we become aware of this pattern, we can go to work on the real issue… the wound within ourselves. 
For example, the woman in the previous scenario can take steps to feel less lonely and begin to let love in. She can also choose different partners who do not up the chances of her ending up lonely within a relationship.
The man in the previous scenario can change his life in ways that cause him to feel stable. He can work on cultivating positivity and building his self-confidence to the degree that he feels his own significance.
Awareness
Awareness causes integration and healing to occur spontaneously so sometimes awareness of the wound within you is all it takes to stop being attracted to people who mirror that wound. 
So now, all that’s left to do is to ask you a question… 

What is within you that is in need of rescue?

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Internalized Messages

by Egan Sanders –

Often people who are looking to express their full potential ascribe great power to positive thinking, affirmation, prayer and visualization. A goal is set to create a better life by reversing and transforming negative messages. In working on this goal it can feel as if we are fighting a fierce, uphill battle to change undesirable parts of our psychological and emotional programming.
One source of these self-defeating thoughts is that from birth we pick up and then internalize both positive and negative ideas from our experiences, surroundings and the mass consciousness. Many negative messages get planted early on and then steadily grow over the years like hidden weeds. They can unconsciously become an integral part of our attitudes, beliefs and reality.
This process can have unanticipated consequences. A drive to create a financial fortune, for example, can be based on a feeling of inferiority. The desire for fame can stem from a hidden belief that to be of true value you must be loved by the masses. Accepting abuse in a relationship can originate from being brainwashed as a child to accept a low self- image.
Here are a series of loving, supportive messages that can assist you to clear away negative concepts. There is no complicated technique to work with them; imagine telling yourself these things as you read them, and imagine that everyone you meet and that everyone you know, communicates these ideas to you in their own way.
1. You Are Enough
  • You are innately good. Everything about you is created from goodness. You are more than good enough.
  • You are valid. Your thoughts are valid. Your feelings are valid. Your viewpoint is valid. You deserve respect, compassion and fair treatment.
  • It is okay to honor your deepest, truest feelings. You can trust your deepest, truest feelings. You can listen to and act upon your deepest, truest feelings.
  • It’s okay to be different from other people; you are a one of a kind creation.
  • It is okay to see things differently than other people.
  • You are an explorer. You are exploring life in your own unique way.
  • You are fine just the way you are.
2. You are Loved Unconditionally by a Loving, Universal Presence
  • Receiving love is as easy as breathing.
  • A loving, Universal Presence loves you no matter what. The only requirement to receive love is to exist.
  • The presence of love in many forms is always at hand.
  • Love is omnipresent. The supply of love is infinite. Love exists everywhere.
  • You can receive all the love you desire. You are surrounded by love. When you focus on love, you are love.
  • You can allow yourself to have the awareness and acceptance that you are loved, and that you are love, and that you are enough.
  • You are equal to everyone else – no matter what. What you feel and think do count.
  • You have unconditional love for yourself and all seeming “others”.
  • You are able to reframe the seeming negative into the obviously positive by imagining that everything you see and experience is your own creation.
  • You are worthy of being loved and accepted just as you are.
  • You can praise yourself. You can acknowledge yourself.
  • It’s okay to make an honest mistake; you learn as you go.
3. You Can Have What You Want
  • You are worthy and deserving. You deserve good things. You have an awareness and acceptance of your intrinsic deserve-ability. You deserve health, wealth, love, expression and well-being.
  • There is plenty for all. You have unlimited resources to work with. You can create whatever you want with ease, joy, fun and wonder. It is okay to have and be connected to and surrounded by what you want, desire and prefer.
  • It is okay to be happy, to have good things in your life, and feel supported. You are only responsible for your own happiness; by doing what is loving and honoring for yourself you are an example of it to others.
  • Your outer world can be changed from within yourself. You are a creator; you can consciously create your reality in any way that you prefer. You are free of the past. You can write your own future. You can easily release anything that is not for your highest good. It is a joy to embrace the new that is truly good for you.
  • You look for the outer evidence that supports the reality of what you want in your own life. You can trust the universe to bring you what you want at the right time and in the right way, once you have gotten clear about what you want and asked for it.
  • You can trust and allow your Highest Good. You are free.
4. You are Unlimited
  • If you persist and insist – the impossible cannot resist. Everything is connected – you are connected to everything.
  • You have the knowledge and the power to do, be, have or experience anything.
  • You can do it. It is possible. You can create whatever you want to do, be, have, and/or experience.
  • You are connected to and supported by the energies, people, resources, ideas and power that allow you the infinite ability to create the reality that you most prefer.
  • Universal Law allows you to be a free being and a free creator.
  • You can expand beyond what is possible in your reality with ease, joy, fun and wonder. Thriving, succeeding, expanding, and expressing are choices.
5. Life is Good
  • Life experiences can all be used to help you grow, learn, and discover fulfillment.
  • Life is beautiful and filled with so many wonderful opportunities for you.
  • Grace and ease are other ways to meet life’s challenges.
  • Ease, joy, fun and wonder unfold before you.
Just one new idea can make a difference when you apply it consistently. There are many effective ways to change harmful, internalized messages. What would your life be like if even just a handful of the above ideas became permanently programmed into your own mind? It is up to you to give yourself new messages, new actions and a new reality.
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Keys to Unlock Your Well-being

by Anne Naylor – 

Do you ever feel stuck? Maybe you feel stuck right now. I have heard it said that our greatest problem is a lack of awareness about how to handle a situation. When we start to take action, we are motion and begin to feel better.
The action we take may not produce the exact result we are looking for but it will take us nearer to it. Actions that seem ineffective nevertheless teach us something – possibly about what NOT to do.
Keep taking action. There is a story of two frogs in a bucket of cream. One is despondent, does nothing and well, sinks. The other keeps kicking. Sooner or later, he surmises in a froggy kind of a way, the cream will turn into butter and he will hop out.
A simple formula for success I use is:

1. Do more of the things that work for you.
2. Do less of the things that do not work.
3. Experiment and be creative in finding new approaches that will be successful for you.

Keeping a positive focus, knowing your direction and destination, will keep you in touch with possible next actions to take. Do not worry if they do not produce the answer. Keep going! Stay engaged in the attempt. Endure until you get there.
This guided visualization will assist you to lift above any stuckness you may be experiencing and encourage you to take that one next step.
Getting In The Flow
Begin by taking in a deep breath and letting it go. Drop your shoulders. Be aware of your breath. Let it be.
Think of a river… Observe the sounds, the sparkle of sunshine on it, and imagine yourself in the river, being carried by its natural flow. Notice the refreshing coolness of the water, the ever changing scenery as you flow with it, the plants, other life – fishes that brush past you – the rocks and pebbles that tickle you and make you come more alive.
As you flow with the river, become aware of the destination, of your magnificence, the great ocean of love and mercy that is waiting for you, a greater life, that you are one drop among many and that you do count. Feel the quality of expansion fill you as your joy and enthusiasm grow and bless every cell of your body.

Creating Space
You become aware that you can open the floodgates through your service to others, asking for the support you need and giving it to others, giving away that which you no longer need, value or have use for. Creating space for greater flow in your life.
You find yourself joining the stream of life, flowing with what you want in your heart. 
You are seeing the wealth of who you are as a blessing to give, to receive more fully and to share with others. 
In this is an awakening of your heart – that which gives to you and sustains you. With this too, an awakening of love, an awakening to the magnificence of who you are…
And you love it all.
  • Love the waters that flow
  • Love the rocks that make the journey interesting
  • Love the lessons that the rocks provide
  • Love the depths
  • Love the shallows
  • Love the still moments
  • Love the torrents
  • Love it all.

Take in another deep breath. Let it go. Allow yourself to come more present in your surroundings now. Notice what is immediately around you and the peace that is within you. Make a note of any insights you received and the practical action you can take to unlock your greater well-being.
annenaylor.com
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Coming out of the Spiritual Closet

by Jeanette  Amlie – 
When one has a tumultuous transformation it is easy to isolate and become a recluse. The challenge is to find a way to step back out into the world….not as one who is all fixed and healed, but as an authentic being not afraid to let others see who we really are, wounds and scars and all.
In the beginning of my radical transformation, as I often call it, it felt like the ground within me was shaking apart, literally. 
My physical body, my emotional body and my mind were fragmenting in response to unconscious beliefs that were shattering without my conscious realization. I became afraid of myself and did not know what was happening to me. This is the point that many people become hospitalized or institutionalized as western medicine and psychology attempt to ‘treat’ their ‘condition’, rather than having the support they need to face this divine process and find resources to assist this disintegration of the old self. 
Yet however it unfolds, it is in divine hands.
During this time we can experience a plethora of unsettling symptoms that most people around us are unlikely to understand. For me it began with panic and anxiety that turned into powerful surges of energy attempting to move through my constricted body. Needless to say terror is an appropriate description of what I often felt. 

Yet there were others around me who saw and understood that this was indeed a divine process, which helped my little mind to trust it enough to allow it to unfold.
At one point in an attempt to dedicate the majority of my time to simply turning and facing my own darkness, I went up into the mountains and spent a winter in a remote cabin. During this time I utilized every skill I had learned to process what was seething up into my consciousness. Then, one day when I was deeply engaged in a process I called psycho-somatic journeying, I began to have visions and to ‘speak in tongues’. Actually, it was one tongue and it was both soothing and powerful. And somehow I was able to understand what was coming through me via the emotional content even though I could not understand the words themselves.
Soon after I received clear inner guidance to “come down out of the mountains and go into civilization”. 
This was accompanied by a directive to “go North”. Go North I thought! What was that about? Couldn’t I get an address or a finger on a map or anything!?! But no…..I had to get in my car and just start driving North. And on my journey I realized that my “somatic richter scale” was to be my guide telling me which way to go and when I had arrived ‘North’.
This is when it got really interesting, because I had gone into the mountains to find safety in the secluded wilderness. For my fear was not of lions and tigers and bears, my fear was of discount stores and turnpikes and the judgement of people who could not understand what I was going through. 

I was mortified of what would happen if I started talking to the apples and oranges in the super market or writhing with kundalini energy during a social gathering??? And I will admit that ‘coming out of the spiritual closet’ was far more challenging than being in the mountains alone with my dog and cat and bobcats and coyotes and mountain lions. Yet the calling was clear and so I followed it as best I could.
I know that is why I was called to bring forth ‘Blue Earth Awakening’ into the world, to be there for others like me who are scared senseless by their own process of transformation and just need others to help normalize the experience for them. For we don’t need others to ‘fix’ us necessarily, (although we may feel like we do), as much as we need to be reminded constantly that we are not in control and we never were. 
We need to see and hear others who have the courage to walk the pathless journey back to the original Self that has been waiting here all along. So come and share your journey with me and us here in the comments and on Facebook at facebook.com/BlueEarthAwakening. For this is how we cultivate the trust we need to carry on and step forth out of the illusion of safety that our spiritual closet has given us.

♡ 

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Transformational Energies

by Cathy Olsen –

As the new frequencies of light continue to make their way onto the planet, their task is to lovingly dissolve all that no longer serves your highest good. 
As these energies of transformation move within and through your personal and collective systems, all that has been held in unconsciousness through eons of time is shaken loose and begins to emerge into the light of day. As the shadows begin to make their way to the surface there may ensue a sense of emotional chaos and underlying fear.

Whether you are consciously aware of what is rising from beneath the surface or not it becomes apparent that all is not as it once was. As a result of the inner shake up it may feel as though you are witnessing the aftermath of an earthquake, where pieces of your former life lay strewn about you like debris which is now unrecognizable to you.

This scenario can leave you feeling out of sorts with yourself and your world. It may leave you feeling anxious and disconnected. As a result, you may begin to question who you are and what ground you stand upon at present. But know that all is well in the Grand Design. It is time to release all that has held you captive in the illusion of this reality. It is time to release all that has held your light from you.

As foundations of limitation begin to crumble under the pressure of the light of love, what remains is your divine essence; the aspect of you which is sacred and unchanging. 

And so we ask you to place your focus not on what is dissolving around you but on that which remains in its place; the light that is you. Have no fear, for all is as it should be. Release the need to understand exactly what is happening in your world and in your life. Release the fears that would keep you from the truth of who you really are.

It is by design that change is upon you now as never before. 

It is by design that all that you are not is being removed from your countenance so as to release you from the past. Do not cling to outmoded structures as the process of transformation continues. Know that they have served you in the past, but your task is now to bless and release them. In so doing space is made available to house more of your divine essence. The structures of your body matrix are now being made ready to house the crystalline nature of your expanded being. Do not cling to the temporal.

Know that you are a being of light whose time has come to shine. 

Your divine purpose is now upon you. Do not fear that which you are. We see your true magnificence and are here to remind you of all that you are. Remember that you are not alone in this. We love and support you as you shake free from the illusion that has played upon you for eons of time and stand ready to celebrate with you the freedom that is now upon you. Be still and know yourself in fullness. We stand in witness to your unfolding light.

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