Letting Go: 5 Truths About Surrendering

by Alex Blackwell – 
At times, life may feel like it is spinning out of control. You feel completely powerless over the circumstances being handed to you. During times like these, it may be easier to give up. But you do have another choice – you can choose to let go, surrender control and reclaim the life that belongs just to you.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong but sometimes it is letting go.” Herman Hesse

Perhaps the greatest contradiction is realizing when you surrender control to the Universe you are in a better position to get what you need to fulfill your life’s purpose. 

Surrendering isn’t about giving up; it’s about letting go. Surrendering isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength.
Surrendering allows you to feel less stressed, overwhelmed and anxious. It creates mental space to be present in the moment.
Take a moment and consider this question: 


What do you need to surrender today? It is a relationship, a business venture, or a person you lost in death? Is it a medical prognosis, a painful memory, or the idea of having the perfect life? Do you need to surrender a past failure, a thought or stress?
Surrendering control is hard to do because the need for control is rooted in fear. The uneasiness of not having direct control over what happens is frustrating. Even when the warning signs are clear, you continue to think if you keep trying harder, if you keep doing everything right; if you can just get one step closer to perfection, then you will have want you want.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” Lao Tzu
Unfortunately, the universe doesn’t work like that. Instead, the Universe gives you exactly what you need.  The sooner you realize pushing back against the inevitable only makes you more anxious; the sooner you can go about the business of living your life according to the plan the Universe has for you.
Letting go has been difficult for me, too. The thought of allowing control to a higher power was terrifying. By letting go, I was giving up – or so I thought. Today, I have learned if I’m going to have the life that has been planned for me; I need the Universe to help me find it. Today, I have learned these five truths about surrendering.
These five truths don’t contemplate the absence of self-responsibility; they actually encourage it. The five truths will help you understand that it’s your responsibility to follow your personal destiny – no matter how out of control it may feel at times.

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5 TRUTHS ABOUT SURRENDERING

1. Pain doesn’t have to define you 

Holding on to the pain only keeps you stuck in a place somewhere in the past. The pain no longer has to define who you are. It’s time to let go of pain and welcome confidence, strength and peace into your life. 

2. What you pay attention to grows 

Even though you may not be responsible for everything that happens to you, you are responsible for how you choose to react to what happens to you. The expression like attracts like is especially true when it comes to positive and negative emotions. 

If you chose to remain positive, then positive results are likely to occur. Alternatively, if you decide to be negative and critical, you can expect more negative circumstances to happen. 

3. Begin today, right now 

There is no better time to live your heart’s passion than right now. When the nudge you feel is beginning to pull you in the direction of your life’s purpose and your inner wisdom is telling you to go; then trust and let go. 

4. Open the floodgates of hope 

When you open the floodgates of hope and refuse to allow fear to defeat our faith, you are better able to surrender your problems, ask for help and then follow your heart’s desire. 

5. Forgiveness is a form of letting go but different 

The purpose of forgiveness is not to let the person who harmed you off the hook, the purpose of forgiveness is to end the grief it has cost you. Don’t just let go, forgive and truly surrender the feelings of anger and pain. This may seem difficult, almost impossible, until you attempt to do it.


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Trust, Leap, Surrender

by Mark David Gerson –

Perhaps the most important principles I’ve learned through the years are the ones that inextricably link life and creativity, the ones that keep me open to the infinite, that help me surrender to the unknowable, that push me beyond the bounds of what I can imagine.
I’ve also learned to be open to the synchronistic and the miraculous, to the numinous and the unseen. I’ve learned that not everything plays out as I expect. I’ve learned to trust my intuition above all else…even when that intuition doesn’t appear to make sense.
If I were a tarot card, I’d be The Fool, that questing soul who steps off the cliff in complete faith that he’ll sprout wings on the way down. I’m also the main character of my novel, who embarks on his journey knowing little more than the next step. That’s, in fact, how I wrote the book: one word at a time, one day at a time, knowing nothing of where the story was taking me, trusting the story to be wiser than I was. It’s still wiser than I am.
There’s little in my life today for example, that I could have predicted, planned for or tried to attract because there’s little in my life today that I could have imagined, little that I even knew I desired.
I believe that in both life and creativity we’re called to be flexible, adaptable and anchored in the moment, recognizing that what works today may not work tomorrow. We’re called, too, to make the highest choices we can and to move beyond what we think from our head into what we desire from our heart.
That doesn’t mean we’ll always get it “right” – whether that “it” is a work of music, writing or art or a work of life, whether it’s how and what we write or how and what we live. In life and in art, it’s important to recognize that our human imperfection is what makes us divinely perfect.
When we live our lives creatively – even if we’re not involved in a traditional creative pursuit – we’re better able to touch that place of passion within us that always fires our joy, our success and our prosperity. It’s this spirit of creative transformation that governs how I live my life.
If I had one piece of guidance to offer, something that’s worked miracles in my life, it would be this:
Trust in your innate wisdom, your limitless courage and your infinite potential. Don’t let convention or your perceived limitations fence you in. Trust…leap…and surrender!


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What Are You Giving Birth To?

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I was about to turn onto a busy four-lane street, when I saw a red Mustang stopped in one lane with a string of impatient drivers behind it. I thought the girls in the car must have been having engine trouble, but as I made my turn into the traffic, the car in front of me suddenly slammed on its breaks, stopping at the same spot those girls had. What was going on?
Then I saw it. For one long, sweet, breathtaking moment, I watched a speckled mama duck proudly waddle across the lanes with a dozen fluffy ducklings falling over each other to keep up with her. 
They tumbled onto the curb in beautiful disarray like something out of slapstick routine as the mama pushed ahead in pursuit of safety. Thank God for careful drivers, I thought. And thank God for mothers.
That heart-opening moment made me think about the fragile things in our lives and our own role as mother. We are all mothers. In each of us, there is something young and tender that needs guidance, nurturing, and even the fierce protection of our love so it can grow to its fullest and express itself. Identifying what that is, I realized, can help us play our role of mother better.
Maybe what you’re giving birth to is a new habit or talent that needs shaping and support. Perhaps it’s a mission-driven project waiting to see the light of day or an ending that needs tending to so you can move on to new opportunities.
What’s the next part of you waiting to be born? And are you giving it the focus and attention it needs? Or are you too busy to recognize what it is or hear its voice?
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Are You Listening to Yourself?

Abraham Maslow talked about the importance of being able to hear our own innerfeeling- voices. “An important part of self-knowledge,” wrote the prominent psychologist, “is being able to hear clearly these signals from the inside.” Many of us, however, have been trained to ignore our inner signals or put other things or people first. Yet honoring our inner impulses is what puts us in touch with our real purpose and makes us excited to share our passions – to give birth to the next stunningly beautiful part of ourselves.
If you’re one of those people (like me) who is better at giving to others than to yourself, it can take conscious intention and practice to listen for what your own inner voice is telling you. One thing that helps me get reconnected is to literally listen to my voice – to listen to how I am speaking rather than what I am saying.
We use this skill all the time to read others. We know a friend is upset or burdened when we hear her voice crack. We know our children are happy when they are animated and speak quickly. If we call a parent and we hear a listless voice at the other end of the phone, we know something is wrong. The tone tells it all.
While we’re accustomed to reading others in this way, we can get so caught up in what’s happening around us that we forget to listen to ourselves. Yet listening is what gives us valuable clues about how we can best mother that part of us trying to be born. If, for instance, you catch yourself sounding grumpy, impatient or tired, it’s probably time to ask, “What am I feeling and what do I need? What can I do to honor myself right now so I can give my best gifts to others?”
Likewise, when you catch that lilt of excitement in your voice or hear yourself happily whistling or humming away, take note. What are you doing or thinking about that is making your heart sing? That’s what can bring more joy into your life – and the lives of others – when you give birth to it again and again.
When you’re too busy to focus on what’s really important in your life, the part of you that is budding can become smothered instead of mothered. 

To honor the nascent potential within you, practice asking yourself:
  • What am I being called to give birth to, to mother, to bring to fruition?
  • What is whispering within me to be recognized, nurtured, and protected?
  • What choices can I make today to give that delicate, emerging part of myself what it needs to blossom?


–Patricia Spadaro 
howtohonoryourself.com

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The 3 Pillars of Personal Power

What’s missing? I don’t get it! I chant and pray. I meditate, exercise and do yoga every day. I go to a godzillion workshops. Why don’t I feel better? Why don’t I have the love, money and health I want? Where is the direct connection with Spirit I crave? Sound familiar? If so, help is on the way.

I’ve spent the last forty years exploring techniques to awaken the abundance of life for my clients and myself. I’ve identified three vital ingredients for happiness and success that are often missing in people’s pursuit of Nirvana. I call these key elements “The 3 Pillars of Personal Power”.

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Passion, Clarity and Self Love

Three dynamic sources of Universal Life Force that are often blocked-or underdeveloped-are Passion, Clarity and Self Love. I find that these three qualities are necessary for a firm foundation on which to build a personal Crystal Palace of Creative Power.

Personal Power increases exponentially when its supporting pillars are developed in a systematic, synchronistic and simultaneous way. When one or more of these grounding posts are frail, the whole structure is weak and can fail or collapse. When one or more of these essential cornerstones is missing, it’s very hard-if not impossible-for us to create-let alone sustain-prosperity, physical vitality or fulfilling relationships.

Lacking one of these pillars can abort your whole lift off. But once you firmly install these foundational qualities into your being, you can take off and fly as high as you want to go!

1. Passion for Pizzazz – Personal power is the ability to attract what we chose to have in life. It means that we have authority (authorship) over the script of our life-as in the head screenwriter of a movie. We are in command of our earthly dominion, master of our destiny.

Being the ruler of our world-in charge of our fate-requires energy, might, strength, stamina. 

 In other words, power in its basic, raw sense. Your cosmic destiny rocket needs fuel to take off. You need a source of energy that can propel you into permanent orbit. You need a source of thrust to overcome the gravitational pull of cultural and personal programming-the limiting beliefs and feelings that keep us earth-bound.

And to generate a whole lifetime of adventure and wonder, we need a vast source for this energy, a deep well of power. Fortunately, we all do possess such an infinite reserve of creative power-the passion we feel for our true calling, our life purpose.

Your deep excitement for expressing your unique spirit can lift you to the heights. 

This passion provides the power to reach your dream. Enthusiasm funds the dream. Exhilaration feeds the dream. Your exuberance attracts the people and assistance to build your castle. The electricity of your enjoyment of your special adventure lights you up from the inside. Your inner radiance shines through. People are enticed by your eagerness, your inner fire, your glow. The joy of self-expression is your secret juice. Natural charisma acts like a magnet to draw in the human and financial support you need to soar. Authentic aliveness is very contagious.

As you take off, you feel ever more vigorous and enthralled. 

High on life, you have the vitality to meet any challenge. And your ever deepening delight fills up every pore of your being so that doubt and fear cannot find a place to reside in your holy temple.

Haven’t quite figured out where your passion lies? Focus less on your skills (what you can do) or your resume (what you have done). Instead, tune into the aspects of your life that feel light, easy, flowing, open and fun. What activities fascinate, intrigue or thrill you? What types of things did you love to do as a child? What activities have spark and aliveness for you now?

2. Open to Clarity – Your personal dream links the key passions that drive you forward with the core message you are here in this life to express. To reach your intended destination, your space mission needs clear direction, clear vision.

If you’re not certain where you want to go, you end up in the wrong place. 

And, if you can’t see your way distinctly, you’ll go off course. Without clarity of mind, you’ll make bad decisions. Bad decisions = bad outcomes.

Clarity is purity of mind-lucid thinking or intuiting. With true clarity, the way to act is apparent, definite and unmistakable. It’s evident and easy to discern what to do. Clarity is free from ambiguity and confusion-the right path is unencumbered, unobstructed, unclouded. The best options are obvious when we are super clear-headed.

Each person arrives at clarity in her or his own way. 

Some people “see” the correct direction to take. Other people “feel” their way through the myriad of life choices. Others “intuit” their best course of action. Some lucky folks simply “know” what to do each step of the way without any kind of process.

When you are clear about your life calling, then you are really listening to your soul, which lets synchronicity operate in your favor!

What is your current vision for your life? What do you hold important and sacred in life? What would give your life a sense of meaning and purpose? In what ways do you already create, improvise and express naturally and easily? What daily activities help you keep your head clear?

3. Enjoy Self Love – Feeling good about yourself is perhaps the most important ingredient for Personal Power and Success. Why? Because without loving your self enough to feel you deserve happiness, you won’t let yourself have it.

When and where did you decide you weren’t worthy of love, prosperity or vibrant health?

As a coach for 40 years, I’m shocked by how many of my clients share with me that one or both of their parents told them daily “You’ll never amount to anything!” What did your parents, siblings and schoolmates tell you that invalidates your sense of worth? Listen to your own self-talk. What self-limitations do you find yourself unconsciously repeating to yourself silently or under your breath?

Are you willing to open to the possibility that your life could be fun, easy and abundant? 

Do you possess the drive, clarity and power to re-choose a better destiny ? to choose to be compassionate with yourself? ? to know that you do deserve the good things in life?

It’s vital to undo the unconscious judging of yourself. 

It’s helpful to hang with encouraging people who support your true spirit and nature. Spend time with folks on the same wavelength, with similar values and aspirations for life. Be accessible to the richness of energy-giving situations. Be inaccessible to energy-draining people and activities. Enthusiasm is contagious, but so is pessimism. Avoid the Nay Sayers and seek out others who share your passion for living life on your own terms.

Can you give yourself acceptance, patience and understanding right now?

 This means deciding to love yourself for who you are, instead of who you wish you were. This is the greatest gift that you can give to yourself. And with this gift comes the power to create all your dreams.

–Keith Varnum thedream.com

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Passion and Purpose

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by Suzanne Zoglio, Ph.D. –

A few years back, while writing a book about living from the inside out, I spent many hours researching and interviewing others about what makes a life feel right. While some people spoke of success, others spoke of less stress. Most included positive relationships, personal growth, and ongoing adventure as essential for a satisfying life. And many said they sought more meaning in life; they wanted to make a difference. Of course, I also did plenty of soul-searching myself, reflecting on my own life lessons.

Here are three important things I’ve learned about creating a life that tickles your soul.

1. The person with the most joy wins…and joy begins with inner peace. While toys are terrific -who wouldn’t enjoy a fabulous new car, house on the beach, or unlimited shopping card?- they don’t always please. Things that we think we want often fade in value once acquired. Perhaps that’s because we sometimes seek what we think we should, rather than what is personally meaningful. I remember when my management consulting company was about five years old, everyone encouraged me to expand. Add staff, increase accounts, and grow revenues was a widely accepted strategy. Except by doing so, I ended up managing a firm instead of consulting with people, which was and is what I love to do. So although the increased income allowed me to buy more toys, it didn’t buy me joy. Bigger is not always better, I learned, and doing what you love is priceless. I downsized the business to a practice of one, and have never regretted it.

If an achievement, possession, or toy brings you joy-terrific. But if it seems a bit hollow, check to see if the “cost” is too high, or if it’s something that’s not really meaningful to you. Sometimes the outer things we seek are just poor substitutes for an inner state we crave. If what you really want is love, self-respect, or validation (and who doesn’t?), you won’t find them by acquiring toys. But when you do experience the inner peace that comes from being the kind of person you aspire to be, you’ll find joy around every corner…in all the toys, experiences, beauty, and relationships that come your way.

2. Passion for life does not wear out…it fades from lack of use. If you have ever felt older than your years…a little tired, worn out, as though life is passing you by, you’re not alone. At various stages of life we hit plateaus and then the choice is ours: coast downhill or climb to a new peak. The choice involves expansion or contraction, feeling alive or shriveling up inside. If we make the effort and muster the courage to move forward in some dimension of life, we feel renewed. Energy and passion climb, and we feel fully engaged. But pass on all things new, and we get stuck in a rut of the known – smack in the middle of our comfort zone. And status quo never yields the high returns of personal growth.

Think of the last time you tried something new – learned a computer skill, visited a foreign country, went to a party alone, or just tried a new food. Even if it didn’t turn out as you expected, chances are you got a lift from taking the risk. I remember the high I felt after finally taking a hot air balloon ride. It was a glorious experience that bumped up my zest for life, and although it wasn’t a climb up Mt. Everest, it did require pushing past fear. A lesson I learned that day was that beyond the familiar- just past fear – is where life truly expands. Passion needs exercise.

3. A meaningful life is born in the soul, grown in the mind, and lived from the heart. A sense of purpose, making a difference, leaving a legacy…these are things that can evade us if we follow along with today’s busy-is-better crowd. One day blurs into another and though dancing as fast as we can, we often feel no sense of accomplishment. You’re busy, but what are you busy about? Are you keeping commitments to your self? Growing the gifts that you have been given? Being of service to others? If not, you’re probably wondering, “Is this all there is?” That’s what I was wondering during a particularly hectic time of my life when I was rushing from one speaking engagement to another, flying in and out of airports but never really visiting any of the cities. Outer success does not equal meaning, I learned. And meaning does not just plop into your lap; it is created every day –with one thought and one act – at a time.

Each day provides a myriad of ways to live more purposefully, but we’re often too busy doing to see the opportunities. Staying on purpose requires listening, I learned – not to the cacophony of our 24/7 world – but to the wisdom in our hearts. Adding the practice of meditation to my day got me off the fast train to nowhere and back on track. Writing projects long put on hold suddenly found their way into my day. Making a difference – every day, for someone in some way – has become a habit. Saying “no” to time wasters is easier when you say “yes” to inner success. Silence, focus, conscious choices. I’ve learned that these are the things that add meaning to life.

Embracing Empathy

Many intuitive and psychic healers have the gift of empathy or clairsentience. This is an intuitive ability that allows one to feel what other people are feeling emotionally and physically. Illness and disease is often caused by emotional blocks that stop the flow of vital energy in the body. Intuitive healers who are empathic can feel the root cause of an emotional or physical imbalance, and what is necessary to correct it.

Most people go through life cut off from their feelings as a coping strategy to get through the demands of day-to-day life. We have become cut off from nature, from each other and even from our own bodies. This disconnection is creating disease and disorder within our lives, our communities and our world.

As an empath, you are able to feel what other people feel, and what they are avoiding feeling. 

You have the natural ability to be an intuitive or psychic healer or to be a counselor, massage therapist, physiotherapist or even a doctor. Our healthcare system would be infinitely better if our doctors and nurses were more in tune with listening to their own intuition and connecting with their patients with empathy. 
Most healers and caregivers are drawn into the healing and healthcare field out of a deep compassion to help people heal their suffering, but the current educational system in these fields often trains this out of them, taking them out of their heart and into their head to do everything “by the book”.

We would all be much healthier if we learned to listen to our feelings and trust our emotions but most people are afraid to feel, so they become numb. 

These feelings and emotions do not just go away or disappear, they get stored in various parts of the body where they create energy blocks that eventually turn into physical pain and disease.

Our society does not encourage us to feel, making us believe that showing emotions is somehow a sign of weakness. We are taught from an early age not to be a “cry baby”, and not to let anyone see how we really feel. Crying actually releases toxins and toxic energy from the body and if we all allowed ourselves to release our emotions as they arise, we would free ourselves from a great deal of stress, tension, and disharmony, promoting health and wellbeing physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

As an empathic person, stopping yourself from feeling is very dangerous. 

I personally understand this very well. I am also an empath, and as a child growing up in New York City, I was constantly picking up on everyone’s emotions all around me. My parents were also going through a divorce when I was seven, and the pain in our household was often too much to bear. 
Whenever I tried to address these feelings, everyone around me was usually in denial, which caused me a great deal of pain and confusion. 
Their response to this was to tell me that I was simply “too sensitive”, as if this was some kind of disease that they had to stay away from or else they would somehow risk catching it. This left me very lonely and isolated throughout much of my life and I learned to cope by becoming completely numb from the neck down, and living entirely in my head. I also reached for food as a drug to further numb my feelings, which many sensitive and empathic people do, especially children.

I can tell you that numbness is not a good solution. Stopping yourself from feeling other people’s pain and even your own, also stops you from being able to feel joy or pleasure. It also stops the flow of intuitive energy and abundance in your life. If your hands have become numb it is an indication that you are blocking and stopping your natural healing gifts. Most natural healers have energy flowing through their hands that either makes their hands vibrate or get very hot. This energy must be released and discharged by helping others to heal in some form.

The best way to embrace this gift is to find a way to work with it as a career. 

Empaths have a profound ability to help others because they understand people at the deepest levels. I have found that my gift of empathy allows me to connect with others in way that makes them feel safe to go through profound healing and transformation in a very short amount of time. 
Because I can empathically feel where the blocks and problem areas are in a person’s life or physical body, I can use my empathic gifts as a shortcut to healing on all levels.

I have found that the key is to protect myself by surrounding myself with a bubble of light at all times. 

This gives me my personal space and boundaries of protection. It can be a burden and be somewhat depressing at times to feel the weight of other people’s feelings but surrounding yourself in the light of love will protect you from the darkness. 
Also, I make an affirmation that I receive only the information that is for the highest and best good of all for me to know and I am protected from all else.

Yes, it can be painful and challenging to feel other people’s pain, fear and suffering but the rewards of using this empathic gift to help them heal these issues far outweighs the personal discomfort. You cannot really cut yourself off from being an empath; it can either be a great gift or a terrible curse depending on how you deal with it.

Ultimately, compassion and empathy are the greatest form of love because they allow you to deeply connect with others in order to help them heal their pain. This is the Universe’s gift to you and your gift to others.



askgrace.com

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