How to Find Yourself Through Your Perceptions of Others

by Nikki Sapp –

If we take any random person then pick five people in their life and interview them about said person we are bound to hear five different perceptions about them. One person may perceive them as funny, kind and warm-hearted while another person may see them as irresponsible, immature and unintelligent.
So whose perception is the correct one?
One of the biggest key in the path of self-awareness is the knowledge that our perception of others has nothing to do with them and everything to do with us. We literally concoct our own perception about people that we meet based on our own relationship with ourselves and our own personality traits.

“We meet ourselves time and time again in a thousand disguises on the path of life.” –Carl Jung 

The ego, fearing attention being brought to it, tends to always look outside of itself for someone or something to “blame”, when in fact, it is only recognizing its own traits in other people.
For example, let’s say a person has never experienced the feeling of envy, how could they recognize this trait in another person if they have never experienced it? We can only recognize traits in other people that we also possess or at least have possessed, which means turning our attention outward and blaming or judging others is a pointless endeavor.
When we come to realize that our opinions and judgments of other people have nothing to do with them and everything to do with our own ego, we are then able to use every reaction we have towards others as an opportunity to bring light to an aspect of ourselves that needs healing.

“What angers us in another person is more often than not an unhealed aspect of ourselves. If we had already resolved that particular issue, we would not be irritated by its reflection back to us.” –Simon Fuller

Our reactions to other people are the keys that unlock the forming of an integral and authentic relationship with our self.
If we pay close attention to who or what brings about a strong emotional reaction from us we are able to utilize this to our advantage.
Negative reactions indicate either one of two things.
  • One being that either we are attached to an idea or belief about the way things SHOULD be or the way someone SHOULD behave which means we are trying to force our own agenda on to other people, when in fact, no one HAS to behave the way we think they should. Anytime we hold people to OUR expectations of them instead of accepting them as they are, we are sitting in resistance of the present moment.
  • The other thing a negative emotional reaction can indicate is [social locker] that there is an aspect of our self that we are not wanting to look at, so we are literally finding it in other people as a clue to us that we need to bring awareness to this trait in ourselves.
We may think that we are victims of circumstances or that life is just randomly happening to us, when in actuality, our own unconscious is trying to make itself known to us through our external circumstances and through people that we meet.

“When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate.” –Carl Jung

When we start seeing our own self as the “problem” in every circumstance, we are then able to shed the light of awareness on all parts of our “shadow” self (or the part of our psyche that our ego tries to hide from others and sometimes even our self) which will consequently heal these traits in ourselves.

In order to truly heal a part of our self that we have become conditioned to hide from the world we must start to practice 100% honesty with ourselves.
If we are experiencing anger, we admit and allow our self to experience anger, when we experience fear, we identify the fear and only become aware of it. 
It doesn’t mean we have to judge ourselves as good or bad because of the emotions it only means that we are aware of it, and are then able to send unconditional love to these parts of ourselves.
Although, it may sound terrible to always see ourselves as the “problem” and always have to turn our hand and point the finger back at ourselves when we so badly want to point it at another person, it actually is the most empowering move we can make. When we see our self as the “problem” we automatically become our own solution.
If it is our own perception of the world and our relationship with ourselves that is causing us to see shortcomings in others, we become completely empowered to change the situation by merely healing the parts of ourselves that is identifying and resonating with the same “problem” in them.
When we start to see our self in everyone we meet we automatically start forming an honest and authentic relationship with ourselves. In this honesty we are able to cultivate our own awareness and consequently we become calmer, more confident and more accepting of every aspect of ourselves.
When our relationship with ourselves is loving and accepting, we start not only seeing these same traits in other people but we realize that things or people that used to bring about a strong negative reaction from us are now met with forgiveness and compassion.

We quite literally change and heal our relationships with others by changing and healing our relationship with ourselves.

About Author: Nikki Sapp – Inspirational writer/blogger and lightworker, focused on self awareness and personal development. She is dedicated to helping others raise their vibration, discover their true selves and encouraging them to live a life that they truly love.

Finding Your True Self

 Breaking Down Belief Systems:
by Nikki Sapp – 
Whether we realize it or not our entire identity is formed off of the relationships that we have with the world around us. In fact, our perception that we even exist at all is dependent upon these relationships to people, places and things, in order to survive. For example, in relation to a tree I am a human, in relation to that man I am a daughter, in relation to that child I am a mom, in relation to that lady I am a friend, in relation to this dog I am its owner, etc.
Our whole existence is formed off of who or what we are in relation to the things around us. With each one of these relationships comes a different personality. We have the personality when we are with our family, we have the personality we are with our pet, we have our friend personality, we have our work personality, and we even have the personality of the voice in our head that is commentating on everything.
Going even further down the rabbit hole, within each one of these personalities we have preconceived notions about the way we should behave, the way others should behave and the way life in general should go.
The friend personality has its beliefs of what it means to be a friend, the employee personality behaves in accordance with its ideas about what it means to be an employee, the spouse personality has its own set of rules and regulations on what it means to be a spouse, and so on and so forth.
With all these different ideas, belief systems and relationships that make up who we are, or at least who we think we are, how do we find out who we REALLY are? How do we go about breaking down relationships into labels down to personalities down to belief systems all the way down to our lowest common denominator?

“As long as you have certain desires about how it ought to be, you can’t see how it is.” –-Ram Dass

Before we can break ourselves down to this level we must first ask ourselves, “What IS our lowest common denominator?” 
The lowest common denominator is us at our first level, our most authentic self.
It is the part of us that has not one concept or preconceived anything about anything. It has no thoughts, beliefs, ideas or judgments of how we should behave, or of how others should behave because it exists prior to all labels and concepts of what is “right”, “wrong”, “acceptable” or “unacceptable.”
It can never be upset or offended because it has no prior idea of how things should happen or how people should act. It is our pure consciousness. It is the awareness that literally is the observer of all the different personalities that show up in our day to day existence. Our lowest common denominator experiences life as it is in the present moment.
When we become in touch with our lowest common denominator we experience life as it is. 
We experience people and relationships as they are without getting caught up in the labels in our head of what we believe someone should be acting like. One would dare to say, it is only when we get in touch with our lowest common denominator that we are actually truly living, because when we are not in touch with this pure awareness we are still operating from our thoughts about a situation instead of the situation itself.
To always be in our thoughts is to constantly be judging which means we are not present. The less we are truly present and living in the moment, the less we are experiencing life in its most authentic form. So now that we know WHAT it is, the question still remains, how do we find and connect with this part of ourselves?
“When there is silence one finds the anchor of the universe within oneself” –Lao Tzu
In order to break down all our beliefs about life and people and become completely anchored in our field of pure awareness, we must turn our attention inward. Once we become focused on what is going on inside of us, we are then able to confront every judgment, criticism, belief and idea head on.

It is only in this confrontation of ourselves that we are able to realize that every single one of our judgments of good/bad, right/wrong, acceptable/unacceptable is based on prior programming, which stems from how we were raised, or where we grew up or what books we read etc… However, our lowest common denominator exists PRIOR to this programming.
Whenever we find ourselves placing judgment on others or on the world we can be assured that we are not operating from lowest common denominator.
We must literally always point the finger back at ourselves anytime we find ourselves becoming frustrated, angry, offended because these emotions are always indicative that there is a preconceived belief of the way things SHOULD be, that is being triggered.
Once we become willing to confront these beliefs we are able to connect with a stream of inner stillness and silence that allows our authentic self to emerge.
Operating from our lowest common denominator won’t always be easy and will definitely take practice at first, especially for those of us who have become very attached to all of their ideas of who they think they are or should be.
When we are brave enough to confront ourselves and question every single belief down to the point that the false self cannot come up with even one more lie to try and make us believe in its validity, we are on the path to our authentic self.
Our authentic self gets to experience the present moment in its purest form, it gets to experience people and situations in their most raw and genuine way, the way they truly are before our thoughts step in with all their judgments and commentary on a situation.
When we start living this way we see the world through brand new eyes, through the eyes of a person who has no prior knowledge or judgment on anything, which means we start to live through our feelings and instincts and consequently the world becomes new and exciting all over again.

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