Letting Go: 5 Truths About Surrendering

by Alex Blackwell – 
At times, life may feel like it is spinning out of control. You feel completely powerless over the circumstances being handed to you. During times like these, it may be easier to give up. But you do have another choice – you can choose to let go, surrender control and reclaim the life that belongs just to you.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong but sometimes it is letting go.” Herman Hesse

Perhaps the greatest contradiction is realizing when you surrender control to the Universe you are in a better position to get what you need to fulfill your life’s purpose. 

Surrendering isn’t about giving up; it’s about letting go. Surrendering isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength.
Surrendering allows you to feel less stressed, overwhelmed and anxious. It creates mental space to be present in the moment.
Take a moment and consider this question: 


What do you need to surrender today? It is a relationship, a business venture, or a person you lost in death? Is it a medical prognosis, a painful memory, or the idea of having the perfect life? Do you need to surrender a past failure, a thought or stress?
Surrendering control is hard to do because the need for control is rooted in fear. The uneasiness of not having direct control over what happens is frustrating. Even when the warning signs are clear, you continue to think if you keep trying harder, if you keep doing everything right; if you can just get one step closer to perfection, then you will have want you want.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” Lao Tzu
Unfortunately, the universe doesn’t work like that. Instead, the Universe gives you exactly what you need.  The sooner you realize pushing back against the inevitable only makes you more anxious; the sooner you can go about the business of living your life according to the plan the Universe has for you.
Letting go has been difficult for me, too. The thought of allowing control to a higher power was terrifying. By letting go, I was giving up – or so I thought. Today, I have learned if I’m going to have the life that has been planned for me; I need the Universe to help me find it. Today, I have learned these five truths about surrendering.
These five truths don’t contemplate the absence of self-responsibility; they actually encourage it. The five truths will help you understand that it’s your responsibility to follow your personal destiny – no matter how out of control it may feel at times.

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5 TRUTHS ABOUT SURRENDERING

1. Pain doesn’t have to define you 

Holding on to the pain only keeps you stuck in a place somewhere in the past. The pain no longer has to define who you are. It’s time to let go of pain and welcome confidence, strength and peace into your life. 

2. What you pay attention to grows 

Even though you may not be responsible for everything that happens to you, you are responsible for how you choose to react to what happens to you. The expression like attracts like is especially true when it comes to positive and negative emotions. 

If you chose to remain positive, then positive results are likely to occur. Alternatively, if you decide to be negative and critical, you can expect more negative circumstances to happen. 

3. Begin today, right now 

There is no better time to live your heart’s passion than right now. When the nudge you feel is beginning to pull you in the direction of your life’s purpose and your inner wisdom is telling you to go; then trust and let go. 

4. Open the floodgates of hope 

When you open the floodgates of hope and refuse to allow fear to defeat our faith, you are better able to surrender your problems, ask for help and then follow your heart’s desire. 

5. Forgiveness is a form of letting go but different 

The purpose of forgiveness is not to let the person who harmed you off the hook, the purpose of forgiveness is to end the grief it has cost you. Don’t just let go, forgive and truly surrender the feelings of anger and pain. This may seem difficult, almost impossible, until you attempt to do it.


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Doing the Best We Can

by Mike Robbins – 

Remember That We’re All Doing the Best We Can:
I’m sometimes amazed and embarrassed by how critical I can be – both of other people and of myself.  Even though I both teach and practice the power of appreciation (as well as acceptance, compassion, authenticity and more) when I find myself feeling scared, threatened or insecure (which happens more often than I’d like it to), I notice that I can be quite judgmental.  Sadly, as I’ve learned throughout my life, being critical and judgmental never works, feels good or leads me to what I truly want in my relationships and in my life.  Maybe you can you relate to this yourself?
I’ve recently been challenged by a few situations and relationships that have triggered an intense critical response – both towards myself and those involved.  As I’ve been noticing this, working through it and looking for alternative ways to respond, I’m reminded of something I heard Louise Hay say a number of years ago.  She said, “It’s important to remember that people are always doing the best they can, including you.”
The power of this statement resonated with me deeply when I heard it and continues to have an impact on me to this day.  And, although I sometimes forget this, when I do remember that we’re all doing the best we can given whatever tools and resources we have (and given the circumstances and situations we’re experiencing), it usually calms me down and creates a sense of compassion for the people I’m dealing with and for myself.
Unfortunately, too often we take things personally that aren’t, look for what’s wrong, and critically judge the people around us and ourselves, instead of bringing a sense of love, understanding, acceptance, forgiveness, and appreciation to the most important (and often most challenging) situations and relationships in our lives.
When we take a step back and remember that most of the time people aren’t “out to get us,” purposefully doing things to upset or annoy us, or consciously trying to make mistakes, disappoint us, or create difficulty (they’re simply doing the best they can and what they think makes the most sense) – we can save ourselves from unnecessary overreactions and stress.  And, when we’re able to have this same awareness and compassion in how we relate to ourselves, we can dramatically alter our lives and relationships in a positive way.
Things you can do and remember in this regard:
  • Give people the benefit of the doubt. Most of the time people have good intentions.  Many of us, myself included, have been trained to be cautious and suspicious of others, even seeing this as an important and effective skill in life and business.  However, we almost always get what we expect from people, so the more often we give people the benefit of the doubt, the more often they will prove us “right,” and the less often we will waste our precious time and energy on cynicism, suspicion, and judgment.
  • Don’t take things personally. One of my favorite sayings is, “You wouldn’t worry about what other people think about you so much, if you realized how little they actually did.”  The truth is that most people are focused on themselves much more than on us.  Too often in life we take things personally that have nothing to do with us.  This doesn’t mean we let people walk all over us or treat us in disrespectful or hurtful ways (it can be important for us to speak up and push back at times in life).  However, when we stop taking things so personally, we liberate ourselves from needless upset, defensiveness, and conflict.
  • Look for the good. Another way to say what I mentioned above about getting what we expect from other people is that we almost always find what we look for.  If you want to find some things about me that you don’t like, consider obnoxious, or get on your nerves – just look for them, I’m sure you’ll come up with some.  On the flip side, if you want to find some of my best qualities and things you appreciate about me, just look for those – they are there too.  As Werner Erhard said, “In every human being there is both garbage and gold, it’s up to us to choose what we pay attention to.” Looking for the good in others (as well as in life and in ourselves), is one of the best ways to find things to appreciate and be grateful for.
  • Seek first to understand. Often when we’re frustrated, annoyed, or in conflict with another person (or group of people), we don’t feel seen, heard, or understood.  As challenging and painful as this can be, one of the best things we can do is to shift our attention from trying to get other people to understand us (or being irritated that it seems like they don’t), is to seek to understand the other person (or people) involved in an authentic way. This can be difficult, especially when the situation or conflict is very personal and emotional to us. However, seeking to understand is one of the best ways for us to liberate ourselves from the grip of criticism and judgment, and often helps shift the dynamic of the entire thing. Being curious, understanding, and even empathetic of another person and their perspective or feelings doesn’t mean we agree with them, it simply allows us to get into their world and see where they’re coming from – which is essential to letting go of judgment, connecting with them, and ultimately resolving the conflict.
  • Be gentle with others (and especially with yourself). Being gentle is the opposite of being critical. When we’re gentle, we’re compassionate, kind, and loving. We may not like, agree with, or totally understand what someone has done (or why), but we can be gentle in how we respond and engage with them. Being gentle isn’t about condoning or appeasing anyone or anything, it’s about having a true sense of empathy and perspective. And, the most important place for us to bring a sense of gentleness is to ourselves. Many of us have a tendency to be hyper self-critical. Sadly, some of the harshest criticism we dole out in life is aimed right at us. Another great saying I love is, “We don’t see people as they are, we see them as we are.” As we alter how we relate to ourselves, our relationship to everyone else and to the world around us is altered in a fundamental way.
As the Dalai Lama so brilliantly says, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

Everyone around us – our friends, co-workers, significant other, family members, children, service people, clients and even people we don’t know or care for – are doing the best they can, given the resources they have.

When we remember this and come from a truly compassionate perspective (with others and with ourselves), we’re able to tap into a deeper level of peace, appreciation and fulfillment.

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Reframing Regrets


by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat – 


Most of us regret that we have regrets. We know they make us our own worst enemies. We obsess about past events in our lives and wonder whether or not we made the right decisions or acted in the best ways. We blame ourselves for mucking things up and not listening to our better self, intuition, or conscience. In hard times, when things aren’t going well, it’s very tempting to try to figure out what we might have done differently.

Regret is ready, willing and able to have us second-guess our choices. Listen to the resulting self-talk: “Why didn’t I consult someone and get their counsel before I made that decision?” “Why didn’t I look at the big picture before turning down that trip?” “Why did I rush into that commitment before the relationship had gelled?” “If only . . .” “What if . . .”
Often the result of this mastication of the past is a drain of energy and a waste of time. Most spiritual teachers would admonish us to stay in the moment and realize there’s no way to re-make the past. What’s gone is gone. Let it be, and let it go.
But recently we were gratified to learn another perspective where regret no longer has a bad reputation. In a scientific study, men and women voted this emotion as the most beneficial of 12 negative emotions since it fostered self-inspection and personal growth. 

Here are a few tips on how to proceed with regret reframed as a positive tool.
1. Most spiritual teachers advise us not to get stuck in the past by focusing on our bad decisions. Instead follow the Tibetan Buddhist way of turning things around. Here the key is looking for what you can learn from a past pain or setback in your life. You can then turn your regrets into catalysts for change.
2. If we are consumed by regrets we overlook all the good that has come from our decisions and actions. So when you find yourself having regrets, bring to mind times when you did the right thing and came out happy and fulfilled. Investigate how these positive memories are different from the memories that are filled with regret. Adjust your attitudes so that you are acting in ways consistent with your positive memories.
3. In Judaism there is a rich and deep tradition of blessing all things. You might take this practice to heart and give thanks for all the choices and decisions you have made. By doing so, you can move beyond the self-blame and depression that comes from being stuck in regrets.
4. An attitude of gratitude is always helpful and salutary when dealing with emotions like regret. Regret helps us clarify what is and is not important to us. Be thankful for the spiritual direction this emotion provides. Being thankful for all of the things that have happened to us is the spiritual path in many religions. Don’t exclude anything!
5. Follow this advice from Henry David Thoreau: “Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret is to live afresh.” 
Move forward in the grand adventure of life and don’t be afraid of taking risks. Take as your mantra for the week: “To regret is to live afresh.”
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New Hope: Letting Go & Moving On


by Carl Mason-Liebenberg – 

Life deals us all some tough blows. What are some of yours? Childhood abuse? Financial ruin? A failed marriage? Maybe missed opportunities? Are there regrets that you cling to? People or circumstances that you blame?
Regrets and blame are like ghosts and demons of our past. They haunt us, leaving us bound behind bars and in shackles of un-forgiveness where fear, shame and all their siblings determine the course our lives. They force us to cling to things that are no longer, disallowing us to move forward in the hope of what lies ahead.
I’ve experienced so many traumas in my life and for seasons, I have become the captive of regret and blame; for allowing the difficulties into my life; for social and relationally perceived failures; for somehow deserving the offences I have endured or caused. I’ve been surrounded with bars, through which I could see revealing a world that is waiting for me, held me in bondage to what has been and is no longer. Even when the prison doors were opened anger, resentment, and bitterness have held me in bondage. Surely, you can identify.
Today marks a new mile marker in my life. 44 years ago my journey began. I have enjoyed many breathless highs and many dark lows along the way. Through it all I found a renewed hope for tomorrow.
There is a new a fire and passion to move on, to be content with the past, to carry no regrets, to understand that my strengths are honed in my weaknesses, to discover a peace with myself. In fact, I think that was the theme of my 43rd year. I guess, today for some unknown reason, I just see it more clearly.
There is nothing left to fear, nothing more to lose but there is EVERYTHING to gain as this journey has shown me what is truly real. The truth finally lies clearly before me and I am now free to walk into the light of freedom to be all that God ever intended for me to be; to live and love authentically; to know my heart, embrace its desires and passions; to seize every possibility that rises from the abundance of gifts and blessings I have received; to bask in the storehouse of treasures set aside just for me.
I didn’t come to this place easily. This point in my life has arrived on the heels of intense and immense pain. It has been a pain that required depths of forgiveness I didn’t know were possible. I’ve had to forgive my offenders and myself, the offended who has in turn, caused offense. It has required me to deal with my ghosts and face my demons in a genuine, authentic, unreserved, unhindered, unrestricted heart for that ever challenging element that eludes us so easily and whose counterpart seizes us in its wicked grip; unforgiveness. 
We grow comfortable, complacent. It grows familiar and oddly safe. But it steals our freedom, our future and our possibilities. Release from the prison cell and that chains the bind only comes one way; embracing forgiveness regardless of the suffered offense; regardless of the perpetrator.
Like an onion, freedom is formed one layer at a time through a journey of forgiveness.
The years have gone by way to fast if you ask me. It seems impossible that all these years have come and gone already. I remember as if yesterday being a little boy, a teenager, a young man filled with hopes and dreams. 
Part of me at times wishes I could gain a few of those years back yet I accept the impossibilities of such restoration. Instead I hold close the memories that remain; those good, and those less enjoyable. I don’t allow them to roam the hallways of my mind as ghosts and demons any longer but as reminders of where I have been, how far I’ve come and where I now get to go.
I now place my hope in the possibilities; the new hope for tomorrow. I have and I am letting go in forgiveness of what has gone before and with expectant and excited hope I grab hold of the new opportunities and the possibilities that I have for tomorrow.
You can too! You can discover your most authentic self, the life you have dreamed of, the hope you have held for so long. It begins with forgiveness. Let go, give it up with no regrets, no blame. Banish fear, anger, bitterness with the authority of authentic forgiveness; yourself included. Then lay hold of the hope. Let the dreams sweep you away. Soar on wings of eagles as you release yourself into the new possibilities of the days and years before you.
Don’t live another minute of your life burden with blame and shame, trapped in the past. It’s been too long already. Today is your day. It’s time to MOVE ON into your bright future!
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The Journey of Clarity

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by Jennifer Hoffman –

Most of us would define ourselves as mature adults, usually in control of our emotions. Then something happens and we surprise ourselves at how quickly and thoroughly we can fall apart, our emotions scrambled, feeling so out of control that we wonder whether we will ever be normal again. How did we go from feeling mature and in control to immature and out of control?

The answer lies in whether we are spiritually or emotionally mature and how we ground that energy in our life.

Many clients ask me why their lessons are so challenging. My response is that it appears that way because the most challenging lessons always involve something that really matters to us.

We notice the issues that put us face to face with every fear, doubt, insecurity and emotion that we have kept hidden. Why can’t we be mature, calm and objective in these situations?

We can if we are acting from our spiritual maturity instead of trying to control our emotions and justify our experiences through them.

Without the knowledge, confidence and support that we get from spirit we rely on our ego’s maturity level to get us through whatever we are facing. And its maturity level is at the first trauma we experienced in our life, plus all of the emotional baggage we carry.

 Since every issue we face is an opportunity to heal our emotional wounds and to bring us into spiritual maturity, no wonder we get stuck, overwhelmed and feel out of control. We’re looking at the problem from its ego perspective instead of moving into a higher one.

The clarity we seek and maturity we need come from spirit, not from the ego.

Clarity takes on a whole new meaning with spiritual maturity because we are not looking for validation or confirmation of our worthiness, our intention is on healing and we are open to the truth in whatever way it is presented to us.

With spiritual maturity we can ask ‘what is next’ instead of the ‘why is this happening to me’ and use the answers we receive to complete that level of growth and healing. With clarity we have the truth we need, although not necessarily the answers the ego wants.

With truth and clarity we can complete our lessons and move into more joyful, peaceful, loving, mature and controlled living.

Forgive Generously  – Uriel’s Message

Giving forgiveness to others is what allows you to release them and you from your souls’ shared karmic journey.

This is more than an optional step on your journey, it is required for you to move from karma to creation, from the path of destiny into your role of co-creator with the Universe.

 Without forgiveness you are blocked from receiving the fullness of the divine guidance, blessings, support and grace that allow for joyful, effortless living. That is why you should apply forgiveness generously, fully and completely to everyone.

So often that which you must forgive has been the source of great pain, coming from those who have wounded you to the depths of your soul. You struggle with what they have done, try to understand their reasons and motivations, and wonder why they can be so cruel. You question whether you can forgive them and their actions as you feel this is a form of approval or acceptance. You think this way because you have a limited awareness of your journey with them.

You are asked to forgive so that you can end karma and what you know of others through your pain is where you are the receiver. In other lifetimes you have been the one who caused pain, consciously or unconsciously, and what you are receiving is the other side of this cycle. The cycle repeats because everyone is reliving what has been done, again and again, over the course of lifetimes.

 It is not possible to undo what has already been done, but you can stop these cycles from repeating, which is held in your choice to forgive.

When you forgive you are only focused on ending the karmic cycle. Nothing else is part of that decision. The choice is not whether you can forgive others or whether they have done the unforgivable but whether you want to end your karma with them, to be free of these cycles and the patterns they create in your life.

This is a choice you make for yourself, so you can be free of these energies. 

You do not make this choice on behalf of anyone else. So forgive generously, fully and completely; give the gift of forgiveness to everyone in your life and free yourself of the connections that have defined your life until this moment so that new paths, possibilities and potentials open for you.

Finding Compassion

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by Rev. Judi A. Lynch –

How many times have we found ourselves wondering “How did this happen?” after living through a certain event or witnessing a situation that has gone wrong. After all, we had the best of intentions when it started out. Maybe someone treated you with complete disrespect that was totally unwarranted or you see another soul having their heart broken by someone they love very much.

As enlightened beings it is hard for us to imagine how people can treat others with such disregard. Where is the compassion we are all supposed to have for each other?

There are many people who work in professions where having compassion would seem a requirement for the job. This is far from the case sometimes because of ego. If their ego has not reached the balance point, they can consider themselves far above those needing help. Irrationally thinking that the people they are helping deserve the situation they are in and need someone “better than they are” to save them from themselves.

Some people are taking out their past hurts on those who get in their way. They don”t always realize how their actions are the result of an unhealed trauma from their past. They may think it”s quite humorous or somehow elevates them above the other person in a game only they want to (and know how) to play. They seem to have a paranoia that everyone is against them and they have to strike first.

Every time we experience lack of compassion in another, we have to remember that several things can be at the root cause. First, that this person has most likely been hurt by someone else and feels the need to lash out. Secondly that this person has not yet found the balance point in their ego for true understanding of unconditional love. It is something they may not be able to learn in this lifetime and we have to learn not to let it harm our own soul”s growth.

A child comes into this world feeling compassion for other children, animals, and even objects that get broken. Growing up they learn and experience many things that can chip away at those feelings of caring about others with the love and respect they deserve.

The hardest thing for us to feel sometimes is forgiveness for the person”s actions and to remember that there is always another soul out there who has been through something much more challenging to forgive. Reaching out to others who need your unconditional love can help to heal and release the hurt you have experienced. When we find the compassion in our hearts to forgive those who lack it, we set our souls free from the hurt and help others to do the same.

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Clearing the Path

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by Gabriel G. Gibson –

The power of forgiveness is by far one of the most powerful laws within this universe. It has the power to heal relationships, bodies, minds and souls. It has the power to heal your family, your friendships, your love life, and the planet as a whole.

Holding a grudge or resentment towards someone (consciously or unconsciously), and harboring it within yourself will only cause you pain and block the Law of Attraction from bringing you types of things that you want in life. Any sense of ill will, or bitterness held towards someone or something is simply taking useful energy away from your own power to create and manifest your dreams.

Even when you have a tremendous vision, and you focus much of your attention and passion on attracting a certain circumstance in your life, it is often a secret or hidden grievance towards someone or something that will act as a roadblock between you and your creations. It is no joke. Not only can a lack of forgiveness block you from your desired manifestations, it can harm your life experience in other ways as well, not just in quality of life, but in your physical & mental health as well.

So what is the key for washing away bitter resentments, and clearing the path of energy so that all your manifestations will show up for you as you intend? Forgiveness. Forgive and let go. Forgive and let go. Forgive and let go.

Benefits of Forgiveness

Forgiveness clears a way within your body, mind and consciousness and frees up blocked energy along the way. This energy, once freed, translates into more creative power and vitality with which to manifest your dreams.

Through forgiveness, you actually become a more powerful creator because you free yourself and your focus from the past so that you can apply your power to creation in the now. You become a being with more energy to use in your manifestations and applying the Law of Attraction.

Beyond the practical benefits of forgiveness as it serves you in deliberate creation, or making conscious use of the Law of Attraction, you will be a happier and more joyful person in every area of your life. Your light will have opportunity to shine forth from the well within you.

Happier people tend to attract happier circumstances and relationships. Joyful hearts serve as a magnet for joyful experiences. If there is anyone or anything in your life that has been causing you to hold a grudge or resentment, I urge you to do some soul searching within yourself to determine exactly who/what is causing in you.

Commit to Allow

Make a conscious decision that you will be forgiving your creations (what you have attracted into your life.) Forgive the people, forgive the circumstances, and even forgive yourself. It may take some practice, it may take some quiet time, it may take some prayer…or it may only take one instant. Sometimes a single moment in the active side of eternity is all it takes to bless your entire life.

Regardless of what it takes, commit yourself to this goal of deeply and completely with all your heart and allow the energy of forgiveness to bless you within and all of your creations without.

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