Tips to Avoid Being Drained or Depleted

by Judith Orloff, MD – 

One of the challenges to our strength and power is the feeling that we are being depleted and drained by people, places and circumstances. I am sure that many of you can relate to this: You wake up feeling great, and ready to greet the new day. You have all sorts of plans and a schedule to keep. 
You feel hopeful and anticipate good things to come when … zap! Something occurs that makes you feel that your good energy and good intentions are being drained away. If you protect yourself from the energetic drains (and drainers) in the universe, you will be able to claim your true strength and power – and maintain it too!
I want to share with you my favorite strategies for avoiding the experience of becoming depleted or drained. Try them on for size and see which ones appeal to you.

S T R A T E G I E S

* Walk away. Let’s say you’re chatting with a man you’ve just met at a conference and your energy starts bottoming out. Here’s how to tell if you’re being zapped: Don’t hesitate to politely excuse yourself; move at least twenty feet from him (outside the range of his energy field). If you receive immediate relief, there’s your answer. Most people are oblivious to how their energy impacts others. Even energy vampires–people who feed off your energy to compensate for a lack of their own–aren’t generally intending to sap you, yet still they do. Obnoxious or meek, vampires come in all forms. Watch out for them. 
For years, reluctant to hurt anyone’s feelings, I needlessly endured these types of situations and suffered. How many of us are so loathe to appear rude that a raving maniac can be right in our face and still we don’t budge for fear of offending? Whenever possible–if your well-being feels at risk with an individual or group–give yourself permission to make a tactful and swift exit. In a spot, physically removing yourself is a sure quick solution.
* Shield yourself. A handy form of protection many people use, including healers with trying patients, involves visualizing an envelope of white light (or any color you feel imparts power) around your entire body. Think of it as a shield that blocks out negativity or physical discomfort but allows what’s positive to filter in. For instance, your sister is on the rampage. She’s about to blow up; you don’t want her anger to shatter you. 
Now–take a deep breath, center yourself, engage your shield. Literally picture it forming a fail-safe barrier around you which deactivates anger. It simply can’t get to you. Shielding is a deliberately defensive technique aimed at guarding your feelings, not repressing them. It works by establishing a perimeter of protection around you that functionally doesn’t permit harm in.
* Practice vulnerability. One tenet of my spiritual practice is to remain as vulnerable as I can to everything; not to shield, the antithesis of defense. Some people prefer my strategy, some don’t. Use it if it succeeds for you. Here’s the premise (not madness) behind this: if we solidify our bond to our inner self, we’ll become centered enough not to need to defend at all. Thus, the best protection turns out to be no protection–a stance that initially alarmed me. It didn’t seem possible I could do hands-on energy work with someone who had cancer or depression, for example, without absorbing their symptoms myself. But it was. 
What could be more liberating than to find I could hold my own and still remain open! Too often we’re taught to equate vulnerability with weakness. Not so. I like being vulnerable and also strong. This disarms people. To me, the appeal of such an approach is that it’s a non-fear-based way of living in the world. It requires that, increasingly, you harmonize with whatever you confront, let it flow through you, then recenter again, your own resilience. Pace yourself. A vulnerable posture will feel safer the stronger you get. It is a choice and a life-long practice.
* Meditate. To cement your inner bond and hold your center in any situation, I recommend a daily practice of meditation where you focus on the spirit within. Doing so gets you into the habit of connecting with yourself. Start with a few minutes, then gradually increase the duration. 
The technique is simple: follow your breath and explore the silence. It is not void or empty; that’s the mystery. As thoughts come, and they will, continue to refocus on your breath. Every inhalation. Every exhalation. The spaces between thoughts are where your spirit waits to be discovered. There is something real in there worth finding. 
My spirit feels like a core of head-to-toe warmth vertically aligned though the center of my body. Imbued in the warmth itself is an  intelligence and intuitive responsiveness to my rhythms and questions. It speaks only truth, which resonates like a chiming in every cell. Silently become acquainted with your spirit. You can return to it to reinforce who you really are–not just the self you present to the world but that part of you that is timeless. Make room to pursue it.

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The Wisdom and Signs of Flow

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by Judith Orloff, MD –

Flow is perfect attunement with a larger-than-self energy that helps us find balance in our lives. I view this energy as Spirit, compassionate and wise. Trusting the wisdom of flow means going with what’s presented to us as gracefully as possible, rather than flailing around in opposition—which creates a life out of balance. Our life’s flow propels us in certain directions. Of course, we do everything possible to create optimal outcomes, but we also must know when to ease off. The art is learning to go where the current takes you rather than maniacally mico-managing every detail of your existence.

Going with the flow safeguards your life force. Here’s a basic law of balancing energy: to realize your dreams, you must give them some breathing room. Do the footwork–but also stand back a little, let the universe work its magic. Paying attention to these signs about flow gives you a choice of behavior.

Intuitive signs you’re in balance with the flow:

* You’re happy or at least able to accept what is, without engaging in an unrelenting internal battle.

* You go after what you want, but back off if you’re pushing too hard–that tense, obsessive sense of being in overdrive.

* Your energy is high; you have an ease in relating with people and yourself. If conflicts arise, you breathe deeply, work towards resolution instead of getting rigid or retaliating.

* Hours pass, and you may not even notice. Kids get into a flow-consciousness when playing, artists when creating.

* You evaluate the timing of situations, rather than simply trying to break doors down.

* Flow can feel like coasting, a deeply spiritual state because you’re trusting the energy of the Now.

Intuitive signs you’re pushing against the flow

* There’s an energetic line you cross here between happiness and misery that you must recognize. It’s when you go beyond being healthily assertive to forcing the flow–a form of insanity in which you do something over and over again with the same negative results.

* The give-away is that your well-being suffers: you’re energy is frazzled, physical symptoms are aggravated, you’re impatient or desperate. A constant uphill battle can make you sick, instigate a cycle of frustration, blockages, and emotional pain.

* Giving the issue you’re fixated on a rest may feel intolerable or evoke tremendous anxiety.

* Typically, others are irritated by your pushing, and relationships linked with the desired outcome are strained.

* You deal with conflict by fighting it and clenching, instead of working toward the best possible compromise. In unavoidable, stressful situations you hate every minute of the “ordeal”–rather than flowing with it–and thus inflict suffering on yourself or others.

* Overall, going against the flow feels horrible, is a life force drain. It’s about fearfully clinging to self-will, and losing temporary touch with a compassionate intelligence, your Higher Power. This will help you find incredible balance in your life.

drjudithorloff.com

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Honoring Our Energetic Needs

BUILD VITALITY AND STOP ENERGY DRAINING:

by Judith Orloff, MD –

I learned to honor my energy needs the hard way. As a psychiatrist who specializes in intuition I knew how important it was to listen to my body. Yet still I’d vacillate between intense weeks of speaking tours to bouts of utter exhaustion at home. I couldn’t turn down “irresistible” opportunities. Here was my dilemma–I trusted my intuition, and was committed to living by it. But I had a blind spot: Although I was quite successful at helping others at trusting intuition and leading high energy lives I was ignoring my own energy crises. Finally my fatigue was so profound I had to change.

I know first hand how important it is for us to cherish our precious energy so we don’t compromise our capacity for passion. I now believe that the most profound transformations can only take place only on an energetic level. I’ve met many patients who’ve spent much time and money on talk therapy hoping that intellectual insights will bring emotional freedom, but they’re disappointed. As much as I love the linear mind, my approach, which I call “Energy Psychiatry,” goes further to also facilitate a conscious rebuilding of a subtle energies, the most basic life force in each of us.

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Do You Get Drained by Other People’s Energy?

Our bodies are made of flesh and blood, but they’re also composed of energy fields—though sadly I wasn’t taught this in medical school. Each day we encounter a wide range of energies, both positive and negative. Positive energy includes compassion, courage, forgiveness, and faith. Negative energy includes fear, anger, hopelessness, and shame. We need to be experts at dealing with energy so we don’t get demolished by draining situations or people who’re energy vampires.

Like me you may be an intuitive empath, someone who’s so sensitive to energy you pick it up but you’re also drained by it. This goes way beyond feeling sympathy for a distraught friend—we actually take on their pain either emotionally or physically. To cope we take refuge in solitude. We empaths are so attuned to others that we can feel what’s going on inside of them. This can put us on energy overload and aggravate everything from chronic fatigue to overeating.

Growing up, my girlfriends couldn’t wait to hit the malls, but I dreaded them. I always felt overwhelmed, exhausted around crowds, though I was clueless why. “What’s the matter?” friends would say, shooting me the weirdest looks. All I knew was that crowded places and I just didn’t mix. I’d go there feeling fine but leave nervous, depressed, or with some new ache or pain. Unsuspectingly, I was a gigantic sponge, absorbing the energy of people around me.

Thank goodness, as my intuition matured, I realized I had intuitive empathy. Once I learned to protect my energy, empathy has become a gift enhancing my compassion. Here’s how empathy works: the more people per square foot, the more our energy fields intersect–thus the tendency to become overloaded in high-density areas. This aspect of intuition is the most neglected.

Empaths, unintentionally, can make even a good doctor’s life hell. They manifest so many “unexplained” symptoms, that frustrated physicians write them off as hypochondriacs. Empaths are notoriously misdiagnosed. Patients have come to me with obesity who’ve failed diets because they needed strategies other than eating to protect themselves from negative energy. Others were labeled “agoraphobic” or with “panic disorder,” having received only minor relief from traditional treatments. Some were nearly house-bound. They’d all say, “I dislike crowded places where there’s no quick escape. Forget department stores, busy streets, elevators, tunnels. I just avoid them.” Sounded very familiar. So I decided to take a history of how these people processed subtle energy in the world, something all health professionals must be trained to assess. Voila! I found many were undiagnosed empaths. For me, this changed everything. My job as a physician then became teaching my patients to center themselves and protect their energy.

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Energetic Survival Guide

Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires – You don’t have to be an empath to experience the fang marks of an energy vampire, though empaths are often hit the hardest. Relationships are always an energy exchange. To stay feeling our best, we must ask ourselves: Who gives us energy? Who saps it? It’s important to be surrounded by supportive, heart-centered people who make us feel safe and secure. It’s equally important to pinpoint the energy vampires, who, whether they intend to or not, leech our energy.

Positive energy in others can be rejuvenative. For instance, you’re nervous about a job interview, but the minute you meet your prospective boss you relax. He’s so calm and welcoming, you calm down too. Or perhaps you have a good friend around whom you always feel loved. These are energy-givers, those we must gravitate towards.

In contrast, energy vampires exude negative energy that drains. Vampires range from the intentionally malicious ones to those who are oblivious to their effect. Some are overbearing and obnoxious; others are friendly and charming. For example, you’re at a party talking to a perfectly nice person, but suddenly you’re nauseous or weak. Or how about the co-worker who drones on about how she broke up with her boyfriend for the tenth time? Eventually, she feels better, but you’re spent. The bottom line is that on a subtle energy level these people suck you dry.

There are many types of vampires to watch out for. The main ones I stress in my book are the Drama Queen who wears your out with her dramas; The Sob Sister, who whines all the time; The Blamer, who cuts you down with criticism and The Go-For-The-Carotid type who purposely cuts your down without any respect for your feelings. Keep an eye out for these types so you’re aware of their methods, and stop them from draining you.

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Strategies for Dealing With Energy Vampires

1.Take an inventory of people in your life who give energy, and people who drain. Specifically identify the energy vampires, and begin to evaluate ones you’d like to limit contact with or eliminate. Plan at least one complete afternoon with people who give off positive energy and avoid drainers. Notice how this beneficially affects your physical and emotional well-being.

2. Set Clear Boundaries. It’s crucial to limit the time you spend discussing a vampire’s gripes. When approaching her, remember: the difference between being a bitch and setting boundaries is attitude. Instead of saying, “You’re selfish and self-obsessed, I can’t take you anymore,” which a part of you likely feels, take a breath and shift to your heart.

3. Meditate. Sitting in meditation is a life-line to your center, to the earth. it will ground you when you’ve been struck by a vampire. By calming the mind, you can re-align with your essence. Close your eyes. Focus on your breath. Then gently extend your awareness downward to strata, bedrock, minerals, and soil. From the base of your spine begin to feel a continuity with the earth’s core. Picture having a long tail that roots in that center. Allow the earth’s energy to infuse your body and stabilize you. If you meditate for five minutes or an hour this is sacred time.

4. Walk away. If you feel your energy being zapped don’t hesitate to politely excuse yourself from a killing conversation. Move at least twenty feet from the person, outside the range of his or her energy field. “I have to go to the bathroom” is a foolproof line. Most people are oblivious to how their energy impacts others. For years, reluctant to hurt anyone’s feelings, I needlessly endured these types of situations and suffered. How many of us are so loathe to appear rude that a raving maniac can be right in our face, and still we don’t budge for fear of offending? In a spot, physically removing yourself is a sure quick solution.

5. Build an energy shield around you. When you’re with vampires you can’t get away from visualize a protective shield of while light surrounding every inch of you. This lets positive energy in, but keeps negative energy out—particularly efficient for vampires at family dinners or social events where you’re trapped.

I hope I’ve inspired you to be more fierce about asserting your energy needs. Never put yourself down as being “overly sensitive.” Sensitivity is an asset as long as you learn how to protect yourself from negative vibes. Understanding how you react energetically in the world is particularly important if you’re chronically tired and want to build vitality. Knowledge is power. Meeting your energy needs can balance mind, body, and spirit to create a vibrant life.

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Quiz: Are You an Intuitive Empath?

Ask yourself:

*Have you ever sat next to someone at a dinner who seems pleasant, but suddenly you’re nauseous, have a headache, or feel drained?

*Are you uncomfortable in crowds, even go out of your way to avoid them?

*Do you get easily over-stimulated by people or prefer being alone?

*When someone is in pain, do you start feeling it too ?

*Do I overeat around people I’m uncomfortable with?

If you’ve answered “yes” to one or more questions, it’s likely you have experienced intuitive empathy. Responding “yes” to every question indicates empathy is draining your energy.

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Tips for Keeping Your Positive Energy High

* 1. In crowds or stressful situations take a few deep breaths to exhale negative energy from your body

* 2. Meditate daily to center yourself—visualize roots going through you and planting firmly in the ground

* 3. Take daily baths or showers to wash off negative vibes. Water is a potent purifier and can get rid of the slimiest of energies.

* 4. Burn sage in a room to purify left over negative vibes. Sage is an ancient purifier. (Many of my patients who work in the entertainment industry use this technique to clear the energy in the room after back-to-back pitch meetings in their office.)

* 5. Eliminate energy vampires from your life.

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Health and Spirituality

healing Pictures, Images and Photos

by Judith Orloff M.D –

We are the keepers of our own healing. We are keepers of an intuitive intelligence so powerful it can tell us how to heal. The time has come for each of us to claim it again. Never forget: It is your right to heal. It is your right to look inside yourself for the answers.

We are on the vanguard of a health care revolution as profound as civil rights or feminism. All over, I see an uprising fueled by courageous people, demanding that their spiritual and intuitive voices be honored in the healing process. Attitudes are shifting. I meet medical practitioners and patients everywhere who rail against the icy sterility of technological advances alone-no matter how miraculous-when simple kindness, love, and awe for our inner vision is sacrificed.

As a psychiatrist and practicing intuitive, my passion has been to bring spirituality and intuition into mainstream medicine. Then we can choose from the best of both worlds. A palpable connection with a compassionate higher power (whether or not connected with traditional religious beliefs) can help us heal. Intuition is the spiritual language that links us with our hearts, and thus to wellness. I’ve written my latest book, Dr. Judith Orloff’s Guide to Intuitive Healing, (Times Books), to provide concrete tools for everyone to access their inner voice and truest sense of the spiritual.

There is a conscious strategy we can take to be joyous and well. It is essential that we develop positive beliefs about healing in addition to a love for the body, an appreciation of the body’s subtle energy system (Chinese medical practitioners call it “chi”), and also learn to access inner guidance and listen to dreams. With these tools, we can maintain optimal health or better face any health challenges that arise.

Science and spirituality mix. Over two hundred scientific studies have shown that spirituality is good for your health. In 1995 the Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center found that a major predictor of survival for heart surgery patients was religious faith. A National Institute on Aging study found that geriatric patients were physically healthier and less depressed when they attended regular spiritual services. Research underscores the necessity of not waiting until illness or pain comes to draw on spirituality as a resource for health and healing.

Is there a center in our brain for spiritual experience? Scientists currently associate our spiritual center with a part of the brain called the limbic system. When this area is electrically stimulated, some patients report visions of angels or devils. And brain tumors, which overexcite the limbic system, can trigger enhanced spiritual awareness. What scientists are willing to conclude is that the brain and spirituality are interrelated; if you develop a belief in something greater than yourself, you’ll have a better chance of staying healthy longer and healing faster if you become ill.

As a physician, I have a continual sense of awe for the relationship between body and spirit. As your heat opens, so does your intuition. Your intuition will teach you how to see and how to love. It will instill in you a renewed faith to face anything.

Intuitive Healing Power

by Judith Orloff MD –

Keeping Ourselves Centered and Protected – As you go through the intuitive healing process you need to know: each of us has our own special power. We carry it within; it waits to be awakened. Call it your inner self, your spirit, or light–however conceived, you must meet and come to know your core-essence. The source of all intuition, it is your fiercest ally and advocate against danger. By connecting with this part of yourself you’ll mount confidence, feel safer in the world. Then whatever or whoever crosses your path–even the devil incarnate–will be no match for your resilience.

I want you to flush out beliefs that divert you from your intuitive healing power. Begin by asking yourself, “What in my life throws me off center and why?” I’m referring to everything from a stranger flashing you a dirty look, to fear of rejection, to dealing with someone in pain. Interactions where your energy dims. Weak spots, points that need securing. And what about negativity? How do you deal with yours, or another’s? If a supervisor says, “You’ll never be successful,” or an ex-lover announces, “You’re incapable of a healthy relationship,” do you buy into it? We each have our triggers. The basis for centering and protection is grasping where we get caught, and then disengaging the trigger.

4 Common Beliefs that Drain Your Power:

1. I’m not strong enough to protect myself. – As children, many of us aren’t taught to believe in the full power we contain. Yes, our parents may support our intelligence, talents, physical attractiveness–even teach us sound ethical values, the difference between right and wrong. But what happens to our inner self? Might even devoutly religious parents fail to realize it is there? Our starting point is to recognize we possess a very real internal source which enables us to deeply see and know. Yet when something goes wrong, frequently our first impulse is to look outside ourselves for someone to “fix” us. We get sick; we rush to the doctor. We become depressed; we call a therapist. We’re in pain; we take a pill. It’s fine to seek expertise–but we have it backwards.

Look inside first. Really, it’s not a big blank in there. Then act on what your wisdom tells you. What stops us? A likely culprit is the vulnerable child we each carry within. Mogul or mailman, mother or monk, this aspect of our psyche yearns to be taken care of, protected, and is unequipped to do it alone. He pops up in the darndest circumstances, reducing us to a helpless tiny tot. Of course we must tenderly acknowledge her needs–but know where to draw the line. Would you want a baby running your boardroom? Your life? Remember: Your inner self is more than your inner child. Far grander–capable of ministering to all your needs–is the radiance of your spirit. Feeling this, knowing this, is the best protection of all. You must become your own champion before anyone else can. When you believe in yourself, no one else can diminish you.

2. Other people’s negative thoughts can harm me. – In my workshops, I’m struck by how worried participants are about being thwarted by other people’s negative thoughts. Such concerns need to be addressed. On an intuitive healing level, ill intentions or feelings can affect us, creating anxiety or physical dis-ease. We must train ourselves to deflect them. What is negative energy? Any force antithetical to your well-being. How does it turn up in everyday life? Let’s start at the lower end of the spectrum. Your neighbor doesn’t approve of you. A friend puts down your plan to start college at forty. Your ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend is sending you bad vibes. What do you do?

Strategies to develop intuitive healing:

* Don’t lead a lifestyle based on assuming others are out to get you. This perpetuates fear.

* If someone is sending you negative thoughts, avoid dwelling on them. The more attention you pay to negativity, the more influence you give it.

* Focusing on the strength of your inner self is the best defense against negativity, no matter how dramatic its manifestation. If you are solidly connected to yourself, nothing can get you.

3. I’m too sensitive for my own good. – The arch-enemy of intuition is lack of sensitivity. Know this: There is no such thing as being overly sensitive. To grasp the concept, you may have to reconfigure old ideas that have been drummed into your head. When parents or teachers said, “You have to toughen up,” or especially with boys, “only sissies cry,” unknowingly they were undermining the very crux of your intuitive tie with the world. Male sensibility, in particular, has been bludgeoned by such rigid conditioning. But, for both sexes, to break down childhood armoring requires extraordinary commitment, trust, and resolve.

What I’m speaking of isn’t simply expressing your emotions. It’s slowly learning, in your own time frame, to remain wide open to an intuitive realm–being one with the wind, the moon, other people’s joys, sorrows, the continuum of life and death. From this comes an intimate ecstatic bond with all of existence, exactly what you don’t want to protect yourself from. Sensitivity only turns against you when you feel overwhelmed. But how do you stay receptive and not get obliterated by the intensity of such input? It is possible to remain vulnerable and feel safe. The answer is never to shut your sensitivity off but to develop it as a creative resource.

4. It’s my job to take on the pain of others. – We’re trained that as big-hearted people it’s laudable to try to relieve the pain of others. A homeless person holding a cardboard sign, “I’m hungry. Will work for food” at a busy intersection; a hurt child; a distraught friend. It’s natural to want to reach out to them, ease their angst. But many of us don’t stop there. Inadvertently, we take it on. Suddenly we’re the one feeling desolate, off kilter, bereft, when we felt fine before. This loss of center is what I want to address. It does not serve us. I am adamant: the most compassionate, effective route to healing people is to be a supportive presence, not attempt to live their pain for them. Moreover, sometimes suffering has its own cycle that has to be respected, hard as that may be to witness.

We must lie to rest the old metaphysical prototype of the empathic healer. Typically grossly obese women (extra weight, they mistakenly argued, was the only way to stay grounded), who cured patients by absorbing symptoms with the technique of laying on of hands. The result? Patients would leave feeling better; the healers would be a sickly wreck. These women were convinced such a sacrifice was necessary to lessen the suffering of others. As a young physician, I almost got snagged in the same trap. During the first months of private practice, I used to drag myself home, flop into bed half-dead from everything I’d absorb: a sure path to burn-out. This tack wasn’t good for me or my patients.

I’ve learned the value of being a catalyst for people’s growth without compromising my well-being. Patients themselves have taught me I can’t do the work for them. That is not my job. Nor is it yours. Keep this in mind: it is none of our business to deprive anyone else of their life experiences. I understand the impulse to want to make things better. Compassion and the desire to console are human. But there’s a fine line between supporting someone and trying to do it for them. No matter how well-meaning or heartfelt your intention, doing too much is not an act of love but of sabotage. You can be caring and honest with someone, yet still let them be. Don’t equate honoring their growth process with abandoning them. A practical philosophy of intuitive healing must include preserving your energy as well as serving others. Striking a balance is essential.

source – drjudithorloff.com

Intuitive Healing Power


by Judith Orloff MD – 

Keeping Ourselves Centered and Protected:

As you go through the intuitive healing process you need to know: each of us has our own special power. We carry it within; it waits to be awakened. Call it your inner self, your spirit, or light–however conceived, you must meet and come to know your core-essence. The source of all intuition, it is your fiercest ally and advocate against danger. By connecting with this part of yourself you’ll mount confidence, feel safer in the world. Then whatever or whoever crosses your path–even the devil incarnate–will be no match for your resilience.

I want you to flush out beliefs that divert you from your intuitive healing power. Begin by asking yourself, “What in my life throws me off center and why?” I’m referring to everything from a stranger flashing you a dirty look, to fear of rejection, to dealing with someone in pain. Interactions where your energy dims. Weak spots, points that need securing.

What about negativity? How do you deal with yours or another’s? If a supervisor says, “You’ll never be successful” or an ex-lover announces, “You’re incapable of a healthy relationship,” do you buy into it? We each have our triggers. The basis for centering and protection is grasping where we get caught and then disengaging the trigger.

4 Common Beliefs that Drain Your Power:


1. I’m not strong enough to protect myself. 

As children, many of us aren’t taught to believe in the full power we contain. Yes, our parents may support our intelligence, talents, physical attractiveness–even teach us sound ethical values, the difference between right and wrong. But what happens to our inner self? Might even devoutly religious parents fail to realize it is there? Our starting point is to recognize we possess a very real internal source which enables us to deeply see and know. Yet when something goes wrong, frequently our first impulse is to look outside ourselves for someone to “fix” us. We get sick; we rush to the doctor. We become depressed; we call a therapist. We’re in pain; we take a pill. It’s fine to seek expertise–but we have it backwards.

Look inside first. Really, it’s not a big blank in there. Then act on what your wisdom tells you. What stops us? A likely culprit is the vulnerable child we each carry within. Mogul or mailman, mother or monk, this aspect of our psyche yearns to be taken care of, protected, and is unequipped to do it alone. He pops up in the darndest circumstances, reducing us to a helpless tiny tot. Of course we must tenderly acknowledge her needs–but know where to draw the line. Would you want a baby running your boardroom? Your life? Remember: Your inner self is more than your inner child. Far grander–capable of ministering to all your needs–is the radiance of your spirit. Feeling this, knowing this, is the best protection of all. You must become your own champion before anyone else can. When you believe in yourself, no one else can diminish you.

2. Other people’s negative thoughts can harm me. 

In my workshops, I’m struck by how worried participants are about being thwarted by other people’s negative thoughts. Such concerns need to be addressed. On an intuitive healing level, ill intentions or feelings can affect us, creating anxiety or physical dis-ease. We must train ourselves to deflect them. What is negative energy? Any force antithetical to your well-being. How does it turn up in everyday life? Let’s start at the lower end of the spectrum. Your neighbor doesn’t approve of you. A friend puts down your plan to start college at forty. Your ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend is sending you bad vibes. What do you do?


Strategies to develop intuitive healing:

  • Don’t lead a lifestyle based on assuming others are out to get you. This perpetuates fear.
  • If someone is sending you negative thoughts, avoid dwelling on them. The more attention you pay to negativity, the more influence you give it.
  • Focusing on the strength of your inner self is the best defense against negativity, no matter how dramatic its manifestation. If you are solidly connected to yourself, nothing can get you.
3. I’m too sensitive for my own good. 

The arch-enemy of intuition is lack of sensitivity. Know this: There is no such thing as being overly sensitive. To grasp the concept, you may have to reconfigure old ideas that have been drummed into your head. When parents or teachers said, “You have to toughen up,” or especially with boys, “only sissies cry,” unknowingly they were undermining the very crux of your intuitive tie with the world. Male sensibility, in particular, has been bludgeoned by such rigid conditioning. But, for both sexes, to break down childhood armoring requires extraordinary commitment, trust and resolve.

What I’m speaking of isn’t simply expressing your emotions. It’s slowly learning, in your own time frame, to remain wide open to an intuitive realm–being one with the wind, the moon, other people’s joys, sorrows, the continuum of life and death. From this comes an intimate ecstatic bond with all of existence, exactly what you don’t want to protect yourself from. Sensitivity only turns against you when you feel overwhelmed. But how do you stay receptive and not get obliterated by the intensity of such input? It is possible to remain vulnerable and feel safe. The answer is never to shut your sensitivity off but to develop it as a creative resource.

4. It’s my job to take on the pain of others. 

We’re trained that as big-hearted people it’s laudable to try to relieve the pain of others. A homeless person holding a cardboard sign, “I’m hungry. Will work for food” at a busy intersection; a hurt child; a distraught friend. It’s natural to want to reach out to them, ease their angst. But many of us don’t stop there. Inadvertently, we take it on. Suddenly we’re the one feeling desolate, off kilter, bereft, when we felt fine before.

This loss of center is what I want to address. It does not serve us. I am adamant: the most compassionate, effective route to healing people is to be a supportive presence, not attempt to live their pain for them. Moreover, sometimes suffering has its own cycle that has to be respected, hard as that may be to witness.

We must lie to rest the old metaphysical prototype of the empathic healer. Typically grossly obese women (extra weight, they mistakenly argued, was the only way to stay grounded), who cured patients by absorbing symptoms with the technique of laying on of hands. The result? Patients would leave feeling better; the healers would be a sickly wreck.

These women were convinced such a sacrifice was necessary to lessen the suffering of others. As a young physician, I almost got snagged in the same trap. During the first months of private practice, I used to drag myself home, flop into bed half-dead from everything I’d absorb: a sure path to burn-out. This tack wasn’t good for me or my patients.

I’ve learned the value of being a catalyst for people’s growth without compromising my well-being. Patients themselves have taught me I can’t do the work for them. That is not my job. Nor is it yours. Keep this in mind: it is none of our business to deprive anyone else of their life experiences. I understand the impulse to want to make things better. Compassion and the desire to console are human. But there’s a fine line between supporting someone and trying to do it for them.

No matter how well-meaning or heartfelt your intention, doing too much is not an act of love but of sabotage. You can be caring and honest with someone, yet still let them be. Don’t equate honoring their growth process with abandoning them. A practical philosophy of intuitive healing must include preserving your energy as well as serving others. Striking a balance is essential.

drjudithorloff.com

Attracting Positive People & Situations

by Judith Orloff M.D. –

As a psychiatrist who specializes in intuition, I know that a very powerful life lesson is learning to how to attract positive relationships and situations towards us. Our relationships aren’t random. We must begin to use our intuition to actively draw what’s positive our way, a people skill most of our parents didn’t know or teach us. We’ve learned to draw conclusions from the surface… how nice someone seems, looks, education. But attraction goes deeper; to make it work for you other ingredients must be considered.

Here is a general GUIDELINE of BODY-BASED INTUITIONS. Use this checklist at a first meeting to troubleshoot problems if you’re already involved, or to access opportunities. A signature energy always accompanies situations or people. Remember the Lil’ Abner jinxed cartoon character who always had a black cloud hanging over his head? Not a vibe that bodes well for positive outcomes. Instead, you must learn to gravitate towards brightness, a positive intuition your body will affirm. When tuning into vibes take a few quiet moments to go into sensing mode, not intellectual analysis. Look for these signs.


Positive Intuitions

· A feeling of comforting familiarity or brightness; you may sense you’ve known the person before, as with the experience of deja-vu

· You breathe easier, chest and shoulders are relaxed, gut is calm

· You find yourself leaning forward, not defensively crossing your arms or edging away to keep a distance

· Your heart opens; you feel safe, peaceful, energized, expansive, or alive

· You’re at ease with a person’s touch whether a hand shake, hug, or during intimacy.


Negative Intuitions

· A sick feeling in the pit of your stomach or increased stomach acid which may prompt an unpalatable deja-vu

· Your skin starts crawling, you’re jumpy, instinctively withdraw if touched

· Shoulder muscles are in knots, chest area or throat constricts; you notice aggravated aches or pains

· The hair on the back of your neck creepily stands on end

· A sense of malaise, darkness, pressure, agitation, or being drained

These signs provide a no-nonsense appraisal of your body’s comfort zone. (The more positive intuitions the better–even one can be definitive–but nagging negatives often mean “watch-out and go slow.”) They’ll lead you to friends, lovers and work milieus with positive energy. Plus, you’ll know when to cool it or exit in the face of blatant warnings. Listen to these signs and your choices in relationships will become smarter and more intuitively informed.

source – drjudithorloff.com