by Keith Varnum –
Do any of us even know the absolute truth about any situation in our lives? And can we ourselves handle the whole truth all at once about any subject? Let alone share that depth with others?
I make a practical choice. I state to myself this daily intention: “I allow myself to express as much truth as I am now safe and clear enough to express lovingly and gracefully. ”
What’s the Big Deal?
When we tell the truth, we bring ourselves into the joy of integrity simply by describing what is so. We exchange the suffering of lying for the delight of heartful expression. An honest person is unbound and content by virtue of not being lost in their own fictions.
Living Out Loud
When We Tell the Truth, We:
· Quit invalidating the brilliant nature of our unique spirit
· Interact with others as the wise beings we are, instead of the masks we are not
· Expose the untruths in the present that are blocking our health, wealth and happiness
· Discover firsthand that life works best when we express ourselves authentically
· Are the same person with everyone in our lives: our parents, family, friends, lover, boss
Lying to ourselves and others by trying to maintain a false picture of our life is the primary source of most tension and anxiety. The stress of constantly pretending, avoiding being found out and trying to maintain inauthentic relationships is an ongoing source of inner conflict and misery.
1. The mind often tells us that we need to lie about something to stay safe. But by being inaccurate about the facts, we mislead ourselves into perceiving a false reality. And, in the absence of clarity and accuracy, our life decisions are made from cover-up and denial, which is anything but safe.
2. Our emotions say to us that the truth is too scary. But the truth leads to relief, release and freedom. Lying leads to a self-imposed fear of life itself—that is, the actual reality of any situation.
3. The mind convinces us that lying is easy. In actuality, lies take immense amounts of energy to maintain—and thus deplete our vitality. And being dishonest is restrictive. Open, spontaneous, unedited expression is invigorating
4. Many people believe that it works to lie. At first people may buy into your misinformation. But deep down everyone knows when we’re lying to them. Our honest feedback or response is the greatest gift we can give to another person. People love us when we give up our pretense. And, remember, our life experiences are uniquely ours. Validation by others doesn’t make our experience right. Disagreement doesn’t make our experience wrong.
5. A commonly held belief is that lying is practical. This may appear to be the case in the short run. However, the truth about any situation eventually comes to the surface. Then the lie has created a bigger problem than it originally avoided. Lying is not effective over the long haul of life. When we don’t admit right away what is real and factual, false assumptions get set in motion that eventually backfire on us.
Joy and love grow and last when our daily expression is aligned with our soul purpose and passion. It’s more fun and exciting to be aware and accurate than it is to be numb and in denial. Once we experience the difference between the aliveness of being present and the dullness of being unconscious, we realize the choice is a no-brainer, so to speak!
Benefits of Honest Communication
· Improved relationships with boss, peers and clients at work
· Increased sexual pleasure with your partner
· A body and environment that truly supports us in being ourselves
· Rapid healing of the past
· A livelihood that expresses one’s genuine self
· More effectiveness in manifesting the future you desire
· A lighter, easier life that is more fulfilling
As we show up fully in the present to handle each moment of life accurately, we emancipate tremendous energy that comes home to us as our personal power. More energy can flow through a congruent, aligned life. Each time we align our actions with our Real Self, the energy is released that was holding the non-harmonious lies in place. As we deal with each new life encounter with integrity, we naturally undo the patterns of inaccurate, inappropriate and non-aligned decisions that were made when we were lying. We can use this liberated creative life force to fund our deepest dreams.
When we tell ourselves the truth about what truly is—and is not—working in our lives, we can make real and lasting changes. Real magic occurs when we deal with what is really so in our lives, instead of what we wish, think, believe, hope or assert is true. Being present in our truth is more effective, helpful, powerful, safe and loving than living unconsciously in lies.